Where Does One Hang a Framed Not-Nipple?

I promised Bryan that if I won this contest, I would frame the photo & do something fun with it. And I keep promises.

Feb 8, 2012 at 12:00pm | Leave a comment

Loyal xoJane readers will recall this little contest, an offshoot of the super-excellent xoJane Real Girls Belly Project & Jane’s twisted mind. I won! And then I promised Bryan that I would frame the photo & do something fun with it. And I keep promises.

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Enter YOU: Be my interior designer. Where does one hang a photo of a cigarette burn on Cat Marnell’s tummy that looks like a nipple & is signed by Cat, Jane & the adorable Charlotte (who drew me mini-stars!)? My husband & I have selected 3 options, and we’ll hang this one-of-kind piece wherever you tell us to.

Option 1:

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This is the hubby’s (who we’ll call by his name, Ed, so that I don’t ever have to say “hubby” again) first choice. Ed’s argument: While he’s not the avid xoJane fan in the apartment, he does like anything strange, & this picture sure is. He wants it out in the living room, where people will see it. I’m not against that logic, and we’ll get to why I prefer Options 2 & 3 shortly.

Cat’s not-nipple would live above the bar (filled with all sorts of fancy glassware -- thank you wedding registry -- and, you know, booze). On the bar you’ve got a terrarium, my wedding bouquet (made of button flowers) & some other stuff. The photo would be chilling with two vintage scores from Cannery Row’s Antique Mall in Monterey: A LIFE magazine cover circa 1911 titled “An Old Hand” featuring a little boy aiming a pistol at a little girl hiding in bed (um, I’d hide too) AND a cigarette ad (how apropos!) for Fleetwood smokes from 1943 starring a fluffy white kitten (more apropos-ness!) and proudly declaring that “Every puff…Cleans itself.” This is prime real estate, folks.

Option 2:
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We’ve now left the living room, & entered the office, aka Marisa’s writing room. No, we did not choose the orange; it (& any stray marks you see on the walls) came with the apartment & we’re renters without DIY painting skills. My argument for keeping the photo in here is threefold:

1) The photo is my prize, and this, as we’ve established, is my room (yes I’m 5 yrs old);

2) It’s not just my room, it’s my writing room, & xoJane inspires writing, so, ya know AND

3) Our living room is full-up on wall art, kids. Do you really see space on that first wall to fit this!? But Ed does, & he’s the hanger of all art, so keep that in mind.

This is the wall above my desk, where I stare when I should be writing. Here, Cat’s burn and Charlotte’s stars would sit next to a collage made for moi by an old college friend with lots of great writing quotes (my favorite is “If you are a poet you do something beautiful,” but I’m a poet & a sucker for Salinger). Below, you’ve got a cat (you’re not wrong to sense a theme), a teeny Buddha, an Eloise pillbox & other assorted tchotchkes.

Option 3:

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My favorite choice. There’s plenty of room, and I’m guessing that while Cat likes prime real estate, she’d also go for the duck-poetess neighbor. The painting is from an auction to help a friend with cancer & no insurance (thanks, American government, for that). And there’s nary a Cat to be found over here, so she’d be the focus (and we all know how Cat likes attention…love you Cat!).

So there you have it. 3 locales for this…erm…unusual piece of “art”. Where should I hang the not-nipple? You decide!