Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
Do you ever totally get cravings for Aryan-nation approved pure, creamy white milk, gargled and then spat out by a young, sexy white girl, then hand-delivered to you anywhere in New York City (and overnighted anywhere else in the United States), all for the low, low cost of, like, $125? Four gel-packs ensure that your freshly "purified" White Power Milk (available in one or two-mouthful quantities) arrives ice-cold, not unlike the frigid heart of a particularly gorgeous and nubile young Nazi.
What kind of milk-gargler are you getting for your money? Well:
"Through extensive recruitment within the upper echelons of society, we deliver the finest milk purified in a way only we can. Our secret ingredient is in the process through which rich, beautiful, white girls gargle your milk to absolute perfection. It's her touch that sets us far above the rest. Our diverse selection includes West Coast, The South, New England, New York, and London. Each of the carefully selected girls offer subtle differences of background, yet what they share is most important. All are waiting to clean your milk with their mouths. That is our promise to you!
To be eligible to filter White Power Milk, each white girl must be accredited as socially elite and deemed physically in superb health. However, rarely is it necessary to involve interviews or doctors. When we find the right girl from the right family, we just know."
And that's not all! "By popular demand, you can also purchase a milk-gargling video performed by a select number of our rich, beautiful, white girls," the website touts. "If you have purchased the milk + purfied milk delivery package, she will purify the milk on-camera that is delivered to you." The video includes a custom on-camera message to you from her prior to gargling, "intimate gargling views" of her face, and a handwritten note from her to you "authenticating the milk's purity."
SO: what do you think of this? Isn't it great?