Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
Being sad is boring, right? I mean, it's a necessary thing and I'm a person with lots of built-in darkness (whaddup, chemical imbalance in my braaaain!) but it's still just such a drag to sit around feeling sad. I'm not trying to brag, but I've been sad pretty much my whole life. Even as a kid, I remember often feeling like, "Really? This is it?"
There are lots of things I do to combat my sadness. I go for long walks, I call my grandma, I go to therapy, I sing along really loudly to Sheryl Crow songs, but lately all I can do is look at pictures of baby animals. It helps me!
I think I've spent, like, half of 2015 Google image searching and I have no regrets! If loving baby animals and wasting half the workday lost in a feverish haze of "Awwww" while making grabby hands at my MacBook screen is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
So, without further ado, here are the top 10 cutest baby animals to Google image search if you're feeling sad and NO this is not a debate. This is a definitive list. I'm the expert here. (Let me have this. It's all I have.)
This Australian marsupial recently found its own 15 minutes of fame thanks to a trend of people taking selfies with them in the land down under. They're sort of just fluffy rodent-like creatures, but their faces are SMILEY! Look at these little babies!! How could you be unhappy knowing this guy is sitting on a tree branch somewhere just smiling into the distance???
Sad note: Quokkas are endangered and it's depressing. Let's save them.
This panda video pretty accurately explains what it's like to date me. Pandas are the best.
8. Slow loris
My favorite subgenre of "cute animal" is "cute animal that is also wildly dangerous" because I would also like to be very cute and very dangerous. Slow lorises are super weirdly adorable and endearing but are also one of the only poisonous mammals in the world. WTF! This precious baby will send you into anaphylactic shock faster than you can say, "But looook at those EYES OMG!"
7. Harp seal pup
I did a project on these fluffy wonders back in the second grade and I think I held onto the poster for years because looking at harp seal pups brings me an indescribable joy. I wanna hold it against my face and protect it from all the world's evils, like men and flip-flops.
I just ate, like, a bunch of bacon so I'm gonna move right past these adorable pictures of baby pigs pretty quickly but y'all, pigs are super smart and funny and cute. I have a secret desire to move to a farm one day and never speak to anybody but pigs and chickens and cows and horses and my hot farmer husband.
When I was really little my sister and I found a bunch of baby bunnies and my mom let us keep them for a bit but then she gave them away when I was at school and I'm still not over it. I have a birthday coming up and I think it's only fair that she buy me a baby bunny to make up for her past evils, right?
When bunnies are babies, they can't pee or poo on their own so you have to tickle their privates to make them do it or they will die. Isn't that so cute?
What my mother lacked in proper bunny empathy, she mostly made up for by reading "Make Way for Ducklings" to me every night as a small child, thus nurturing within me a lifelong love for these little duckers. Seriously, I was once bit by a duck and even that pain couldn't deter my adoration for the creatures! Little baby ducklings are so fluffy and squeaky. I think if I played with one long enough I would forget about every dude who never texted me back probably.
This whole thing started because I found a website called Hedgehog Headquarters and decided if I ever stop being lazy long enough to actually setup the wifi in my new apartment, I'm gonna call it that. Anyway, hedgehogs are spikey but super cute like a 90s boy band heartthrob! What's not to love?? Hedgehogs are nocturnal (like me!), a little grouchy (like me!), and you shouldn't leave them alone for a whole weekend because they might die (like me!!!).
I do a cute thing sometimes where I refer to men I'm dating as my "significant otter" but usually I just wish I was hanging out with an actual otter. They're super cute and very smart and skilled and they hold hands sometimes while they're in the water!
That koala picture was my iPhone background for two months recently. Koalas have been my ride-or-die cute animal go-to for as long as I can remember. They're really, really cute but also they sleep a lot and they really only wake up to eat or have sex. I think I want to be a koala. If I can't be a koala, I just want to hold one in my arms. Please.
OK your turn.
- What's your favorite cute baby animal to look at when you're trying to avoid the sad feelings?
- Please fill this comment section with more cute animals. I need it. We all need it.