Roller Skate Your Way Through The End Of The Summer

Because rollerblading still sucks and human suitcases are ESSENTIAL!

Aug 2, 2011 at 12:02pm | Leave a comment

Moxi Lolly Roller Skates $299, UrbanOutfitters.com 

Yes, this is a post about roller skates. Are you so stoked about it? Because I am. I discovered these babies tucked away in the "Apartment" corner of the Urban Outfitters website. That might seem odd, and I was about to make a joke about how roller skates aren't really housewares and then realized if I had a pair, they would probably sit in a corner on top of my shelves, looking pretty and every time I walked by them I would wish I could go roller skating and never actually would.

But that's not the point! These are like 20 kinds of cool and I am imagining myself in some kind of roller skating lady gang with my friends all wearing different colors and matching outfits like, a more action-oriented Pink Ladies (and no, not like in the roller derby, I am too much of a wuss for that). I used to have a vintage pair that I bought at a thriftstore in Philly for about 20 bucks, but I guess I must've gone stir-crazy when I moved to New York because they didn't make it here with me. I've regretted it ever since, especially because all these opportunities keep coming up where roller skates are totally essential. Like how my friend and I have been wanting to make a video where I become a human suitcase.

What's a human suitcase you ask?

Are you grasping how important this is? 

(And if this is your first time with Stefon, do yourself a favor and watch all the other clips on Hulu. Come on, I know you're procrastinating anyways! You can thank me later.) 

So to recap: human suitcases, lady gangs, house décor. Looks like these roller skates are pretty  much everything I've been waiting for. Now, come to me!