Obnoxiously Objectifying Thursdays XVIII: Francis Boulle

Half of me wants to brush his hair and straighten his tie, and the other half wants to mess it all up a whole lot more...
Publish date:
November 8, 2012
Made In Chelsea, obnoxiously objectifying thursdays, Francis Boulle

It’s my first ever OOT and I’ve unintentionally gone and lowered the tone by crushing on a reality TV star. Yes, I’m filth. But hold your judgemental horses just a minute, because it’s not as bad as you think.

My hunk of trash-TV man-flesh isn’t some illiterate oik, oh no, he’s the privately educated, impeccably-connected heir to a diamond mining fortune. Yes, of all the toffs in all the world, Made In Chelsea’s Francis Maximilien Yvan Christophe Boulle is the posho for me.

For those of you with proper jobs and social lives who aren’t familiar with Francis or Made In Chelsea, Francis operates on that endearing, slightly scruffy, bumbling Boris Johnson-esque wavelength. As a result half of me wants to brush his hair and straighten his tie, and the other half wants to mess it all up a whole lot more.

But there’s real intellect, wit, and self awareness behind his haphazard exterior, and modesty – something noticeably missing from some of his supposedly hotter cast mates.

Let’s be clear, this wasn’t crush at first site. In Series 1 he was a pasty, uncomfortably-suited, socially awkward bit-character with more than a hint of the Apprentice contestant about him. Yes, I thought he was amusing, but amusing in a cringe-inducing car crash sort of way. My heart did not a-flutter.

Then one day I was just sitting there, mindlessly watching Made In Chelsea, not a thought in my head, when it suddenly hit me; I fancied Francis Boulle. Somewhere in between Series 1 and Series 4 Francis Boulle had grown some balls, and transformed into a facial-hair-rocking, fashion-boundary-pushing, witty-repartee-shooting, fully-fledged MIC heartthrob. Swoon.

Basically I think my crush on The Boulle boils down to two things: GSOH and a banging dress sense. He makes me laugh. Out loud. Real actual lols. And his dress sense is fearless and fun. As a package that makes him one pretty tasty toff (in my opinion at least). Nom.

So there we have it, I fancy Francis Boulle. But what about you? Are you digging the new improved Boulle? Or do you have a crush on one of his MIC cast mates? Come on, let me know; let’s have a toff-off!