My Four Newest Shallow Obsessions: Snacks, Lesbian Fiction, and Nerdy Apparel

Because sometimes I just want to tell you about my conspicuous consumption.

I'm having a grumpy day, y'all. My lack of brilliant post-inspiration coupled with some backend site issues we're having here on xoJane (didn't notice them? I'm glad -- they're making me stabby, though) is resulting in extreme crabbiness and a general sense that I am sometimes a lousy adult. We all have those days, sometimes, yes? And how do we deal with them? I don't know about you, but I like to think about things I've recently bought.

1. Sriracha Peas.

I had no idea this was a thing. Did you know this was a thing? I could write an ode to Sriracha sauce all on its own -- it burns so good -- but to combine it in such a crunchy-garlicky delivery system is almost more than I can bear.

These little buggers are basically a variation on the classic wasabi peas, only less likely to make you feel like you’ve just poured undiluted bleach into your sinus cavity. They are absurdly delicious, especially if you enjoy things that are very salty and very spicy at the same time. And if you have a very sturdy stomach lining.

Apparently they hail from Thailand, but I got mine at Target.

2. Sarah Waters.

Sarah Waters usually gets tagged with the reductive “lesbian novelist” label -- I want to say this minimizes her talents, but that sounds like I’m suggesting proud self-identifying “lesbian novelists” are not very good, which is simply not true. Instead, I’ll say that Waters writes books that inspire reviewers on to observe that they loved everything about the story except for those pesky queers.

Waters is best known for her meticulously researched historical novels set in the Victorian era, most notably the revered “Tipping the Velvet,” a wonderfully unfolding story of turn-of-the-century male impersonation and ladysex awakenings. However, I am currently reading “The Night Watch,” which is set in the 1940s, following the intertwining circumstances of four individuals in both wartime and postwar London, and it’s just as brilliant in its own way.

3. Normandy C.I.C. Messenger Bag.

Here’s where I let my nerd flag fly: I am kind of deeply emotionally invested in the Mass Effect series of video games, the third and final installment of which will be coming out on March 6 of next year. I’m generally not one for media-promoting apparel -- I feel about t-shirts the way Joan Crawford felt about wire hangers -- but I do enjoy a good messenger bag, especially a messenger bag that allows me to pretend I’m one of the Normandy’s crew.

STOP LAUGHING. I’d come over there and give you a piece of my mind, but I’m in the middle of some calibrations.

4. Dr. Martens 1460 Boots in Liberty Green.

When Dr. Martens’ new flagship store in SoHo opened last year, they featured a special limited-edition boot only available in this particular shop. It’s the standard 8-eyelet 1460 boot, but in two New-York-themed colors: Liberty Green (after the Statue of Liberty, naturally) and Big Apple Red.

I have a weakness for Docs, and have persisted in my love for them even during the dark days between the late 90s and now, in which they were totally not cool. At present they’re trendy again, which means I get to look like someone who knows something about style, instead of someone clinging to the safety and comfort of a big clompy pair o’ boots.

During my trip to New York last week, I was on my way to buy some tea -- innocently! -- when I passed the store and saw these boots. Pastel mint green! In truth, they had me at “limited edition.” I have been wearing them continuously and I have the bruises to prove it.

So what have you been foolishly spending money on? Tell me so I can feel better about my life choices.