Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
So a while ago I got ya'lls addicted to Pinterest and spent like, 40 hours mailing you invites, and on the Pinterest we have this board called "Men Who Make Us Swoon"and I was checking it out today and I realized that at XoJane, we sorta like the ugly guys. Sure, we have Mark Ruffalo on there and that hunky Ryan Gosling, but for the most part, we like the unconventional-lookin' boyz.
I've never been one to go gaga over conventionally HOT men. You know how some girls go loopy over guys who are super-built and have all their teeth and all their hair and do stuff like tan? That creeps me out.
So if I'm going to be a 16-year-old and plaster posters of men I think are attractive all over my locker (That I share with Lesley Kinzel) and write Eve hearts ______ 4ever, it sure as hell isn't going to be the name of a male model. And sure, in real life, it would be Eve hearts Her Husband but he is 10 years older than me, so he would not be in our high school, he would be off at college listening to Emerson, Lake and Palmer and buying weed from Cat's dealer.
So if we are sitting at the lunch table and all wearing matching pink satin jackets and talking about which boys are cute and Cat is off somewhere behind the bleachers and Emily is in detention it should be noted that Emily wrote PETER DINKLAGE IS HAWT all over her Lisa Frank notebook.
Everyone got your single serving carton of milk ready? Good. Let's do this shizz.
The ultimate creepy handsome guy is Christopher Walken. He wins all. Not only is he an amazing actor, but he can sing and dance and he has hosted SNL many times and he is always hilarious. Now we can all watch Weapon of Choice to remind ourselves of how awesome he is.
OK, where was I? Oh yeah, Steve Buscemi. SWOON. What is it about him that makes him so cute? "Boardwalk Empire" is back on Sunday night (YES!) and I can't wait. Love him, love the show, love the set designs and costumes and creepy Steve has some sort of awesome charisma that makes him totally handsome.
Vincent Gallo. UGH. I hate that guy. But if someone loans me a mess of scrill, we can buy his sperm and have his baby. I'm ashamed of this Vincent Gallo thing. Who picked this? I think it was Rachel McPadden, but she is busy in Home Ec and won't admit to it. I'm not going to say he is cute or interesting or has some sort of filthy appeal, I blame this all on Rachel.
Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips. (Emily just passed this note to me with his name on it) OH, funny aside, yesterday my husband was asked by a TSA guy if he WAS Wayne Coyne and like the only similarities is that my man always wears suits and has similar hair and he said "Yes I am. I have giant hands in my suitcase." Wayne is cute and wrote that rad song about the pink robots which my kids know all the words to.
Lesley has a fold out poster of Jarvis Cocker on her bedroom wall and I so agree with her. Jarvis is always amazingly dressed and Pulp is too cool for school and if you guys have never seen this video you MUST, one of the most brilliant music videos ever made ever. In the history of ever. And you can't read any more of this article until you watch this video.
Checking our "Men Who Make Us Swoon" board on pinterest, you know who gets the most play?
Because I swear to Willem Dafoe I am not the only one who pinned him to the board multiple times. He's not typically handsome, but there is something about the guy. I think he will continue to make us swoon even though this is pretty goofy: "Mos Def announced that he planned to use the name Yasiin instead of Mos Def beginning in 2012." Whyyyyyyyyy?
OK so what boys do you like who aren't really cute but super cute just because they have SOMETHING about them that makes you swoon? And who took my Bonne Bell bubblegum lip balm?