Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
BOOYA, motherfucker. Jane Pratt is 50. I have this weird list-making habit. I did it for my own birthday. And now I feel compelled to do it for Jane. Because even if she won't celebrate her own birthday in a big way, then I WILL DAMN IT. So here we go. Fifty reasons this woman is quite honestly, epic. Add your own below. Or pretend to do that birthday spanking machine. That would be cool, too.
1. Reading Sassy as a girl gave me hope in a way few things have in my life. Jane did that.
2. She fully up and ran away from Oberlin College for a week when she was enrolled there to tour with Michael Stipe.
3. Her kid is insanely smart.
4. She is insanely smart.
5. She's starting a cult.
6. Look at those toned arms.
7. She knows great blowjob tips.
8. Every single word that you read on this site is because of her.
9. She has the same publicist as Julia Roberts. Cool, right?
10. She pushes us to write about stuff that is uncomfortable.
11. In a world of mean girls, Jane is the opposite of that.
12. She has good taste in music.
13. You can see her dancing around in that R.E.M. "Shiny Happy People" video.
14. She recoils at inauthenticity.
16. "If there's one person I want to see more of, it's Emily McCombs," she said to Emily once. She says stuff like that. It's really nice and supportive.
17. She is really nice and supportive.
18. When I told her to "fuck off" once, her response was to tweet it.
19. She defends people and doesn't throw them under the bus.
20. Therapists talk a lot about the archetypes of the "wounded child" and the "joyful child." Jane embraces the joyful child like nothing I've ever seen.
21. She says if she is sad or mad or hurt or scared. She isn't afraid of feelings.
22. Everyone you meet who has worked with her only says good things. Seriously. That's unheard of in media. We're all a bunch of miserable backstabbers.
22. She loves talking to her mom.
23. Rather than sweeping away topics or writers or voices who are controversial, Jane embraces the honesty and mines it.
24. She likes it when Corynne and I fight.
25. She likes it when Emily and I fight.
26. In every interaction, she makes it clear that the person comes first -- rather than the story.
27. She is honest about her insecurities and makes you realize you don't have to pretend everything is okay all the time.
28. She's a pretty good bowler.
29. She embraces her sexuality.
30. She embraces her feminism.
31. Her radio show is ridiculously fun to be on.
32. She doesn't bullshit you.
33. When people are cruel, she doesn't attack, but enjoys the ride.
34. She hates puns.
35. Her daughter's Instagram is fucking hilarious.
36. She's one of the only media figures who has a lavishly praising roman a clef written about her. An anti-"Devil Wears Prada."
37. She's awesome at yoga.
38. Her weekly newsletters have opening lines like, "Hey cutie." I still think that one was just for me.
39. Her glasses are really cool and make me want to have glasses like that except I don't think I have a face for it.
40. She knows how to capture the fleeting details of life others often trample.
41. She is a jellybean connoisseur.
42. In an industry filled with lies, Jane says things like, "Oh, yeah, I call my old show 'My Really Terrible Talk Show.'" Straight up.
43. Howard Stern waves at her when she does her Sirius show.
45. In her office, the wall is a collage of love.
46. SXSW is going to rock so hard because of her.
47. In a world filled with mind games, she is the Anti-Shamer.
48. She writes you notes that change your life forever.
49. She is a force of love and light.
50. She creates her life with intention -- every single minute of every single day.
Now, what did I miss?
Find Mandy long-form at http://tinyurl.com/stadtmiller.