Help Me With Some Last-Minute Valentine's Day Romance and See If There's a Great Love for You in This Week's Emoji Horoscopes

I'm the least romantic person in the world and I'm trying to change that.
Publish date:
February 14, 2016

Each week I write these horoscopes, the heart emoji sticks out like a sore thumb in any random sign's horoscope. I can't help but notice it the way I'm sure you do too when you read someone else's horoscope (I'm not the only one that does that, right?).

Though my horoscope last week was eerily accurate, I was surprised it didn't contain some sort of heart emoji because the thought of love and romance has been on my mind a lot lately. At this point, I'm happy to say I've been in a relationship for 6+ years, and I am with a truly wonderful guy. We met the old-fashioned way, on OkCupid, which I guess makes us an OkCupid success story, regardless of whether or not they ever actually decide to feature our submission.

As I write this, Valentine's Day morning, he has already gone to Dunkin' Donuts (in 1 degree, ice-cold NYC weather) and picked up a coffee for me simply because he knew I wanted to stay in bed. He then proceeded to gift me me a handmade card, cook a beautiful breakfast for us, and he's baked cookies that he "suspected I would like." It's 11am.

This is how Yves is as a person...always doing the romantic little things, anticipating my needs, and keeping things orderly for me.

The problem, and the reason I've had so much anxiety in the romance department this week, is because I'm the less romantic partner in my relationship and Valentine's Day is a once-a-year-reminder of just that. Besides the usual terms of endearment that I sling his way, nicknames which include, in no random order — Mr. Pizza (he hates this one), Poopsicle (don't even ask), Papa, Angel, Anjel (pronounced Awn-jel), Demon Child, Animaux (the French word for animal), the ability to be even slightly romantic has somehow fallen short in me in a way it never has with him.

So I sit here, as I do on most Valentine's Days, trying to think of ways I can be instantly more romantic and "set the mood," although I'm not even sure what that means. I've gotten him a beautiful box of Godiva chocolate. I've installed this dimmable light thing that I can control from the Wemo app on my phone and I plan on lighting a special V-Day candle that Archipelago came out with. I've even been printing out photos of us throughout the years using this Polaroid printer I got this week. But knowing him, he's probably in the other room preparing a 6-course, candlelit dinner with beets shaped as hearts (he actually did this one other Valentine's Day). So when it comes to what I'm doing, it never seems enough — all of the things I've prepared seem quite trite in fact.

I now plead with you to share your ideas on what I can do to be more romantic on Valentine's Day, and keep in mind that since it's already Valentine's Day, these things will have to be done last-minute.

And whether or not you care to help me, I've compiled this week's emoji horoscopes below, because, if you're anything like me, you're always curious to see what your love life holds, even if it has been pretty consistent for a long time.