Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
The world currently has a lot of problems.
One area that it does not have any problems?
Dogs dressed up in costumes. We've got a firm handle on that area, as I discovered when I went to Petco recently and saw this little guy:
Which of course made me extremely cuteness competitive and turned my dog Sam into -- what else, obvi -- a BUTTERFLY. You know, as pitbulls are commonly mistaken to be. (If you want to see him IN ACTION as a butterfly, well, this Vine is my "Citizen Kane," y'all.) Sammy Sam Sam Samsung Halloween Sammers:
He is wearing a costume courtesy of the fabulous Animal Planet's Halloween contest which has quite viciously and cruelly pitted me against sister site Dogster and its editor-in-chief Janine Kahn and her incomparable pet Mr. Moxie who, I'm going to be honest, is ridiculous. I believe I speak for all of us when I write of his Shamu costume: "sdlfjkslifuweotiuweroiewjfoij!!"
This dog's cuteness could cure a lot of problems is all I'm saying:
Let's also take a moment to give a few props to Dogster community manager Lori Malm's dog Beasley, who dressed as the Lorax today and rocked it so. freaking. hard. (Uhhh, did I call this post "world's cutest?" Because I believe that is pronounced "world's most nepotistic," but I don't even care, y'all. I'm canine-costume-crunk!) Also check out human Anna Zeman's amazing costume in the background:
And then there's the lovely Marci Robin, she of xoVain fame and glory. This is her dog Max wearing an owl costume. I WARNED YOU THIS POST WAS IMPORTANT, DIDN'T I? Check it:
Our beloved Miss Daisy just got her new poochie and has also done her Halloween due diligence in puppy dressing-upping. She writes: "I wouldn't say he is too thrilled but he also has the kind of face that would inspire strange men to tell him to smile if he were a girl." Daisy makes me laugh. So does her dog:
Speaking of magical, please see immediately Claire's dog Angie as Pegasus. I mean:
Oh, and speaking of Claire, she also shares this amazing photo courtesy of her mom and writes, "My mom dresses up these two dogs like this was EVERYHALLOWEEN." Dog wedding, yo:
And speaking of MOMS, I have to give one very quick special shout-out to my mom's poodle Shady who rocks this devil costume (my mother calls such things "pretties") like no one's business. (Fun fact about Shady Jane: My mom and I once sneaked her into a movie theater to see a Matt Damon movie. Take that, every other dog!):
Have you died yet? Are you dead? Are you having trouble remembering how you ever had any problems in the world when these dogs in costumes exist? For more cuteness, feel free to check out my dog's daycare's contest which is posting their pics tomorrow (yes, that is the SECOND contest poor Sam is entered in). The first is the Animal Planet contest which I'm going to be straight with you, is currently being dominated by this little guy named Brock from Pets Weekly:
I'm also finding myself a little partial to another contestant named Tamsen -- who I believe is a shark? I don't even care. Tamsen, you had me at hello:
Oh, and game plan, friends: Do not vote for me in the Animal Planet contest (or Sam, rather, as he's already a bit conceited from having written this column way back when for xoJane).
Instead, let's all of us get our holiday collision on -- and place our votes for my sister site editor-in-chief Janine and her little ball of wonderful Mr. Moxie.
I've decided that -- let's be honest -- Mr. Moxie pretty neatly kicks Sam's ass in terms of costumed cuteness, and let's face it: There is strength in numbers.
So I'm going to throw my darling pittie in as a ringer and ask all of you to vote for Mr. Moxie instead. Yes, friends, THIS IS WHAT A MARTYR LOOKS LIKE.
Pretty please vote for the Moxinator? The link is here.
We can do this! I mean, what is friendly and light-spirited competition for if not to muster up everything you have and try to live through your dog wearing a costume and outshine other dogs also wearing costumes and thereby claim ultimate dog-costume-wearing glory?
So, what do you think of our hot dogs? Do you have no pride as well? Please upload your dog costume pics below -- old or new -- or hell, upload pictures of your cats or babies or yourselves wearing costumes, too. It's Halloween, dude. Anarchy!
Find Mandy long-form at http://tinyurl.com/stadtmiller.