Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
I was born on December 25th. Yes, that’s right, I’m one of those Christmas babies everybody makes a huge fuss about.
There’s the “How cute, you must’ve been the best gift your parents could have asked for!” Or “OMG, were you wrapped in a giant stocking when they brought you to your Mom”? And then there’s “Wow, that must totally suck!” And my personal favorite, “You know, you stole Jesus’ birthday…” Seriously.
Here are a few struggles I’ve dealt with along the way that are super specific to kids born in and around everybody’s favorite winter holiday. Shall we take a look?
1. Secretly, you hate anyone born in the summer.
Those Junebugs totally have it made, with the abundance of sun, sand and breezy bliss that’s readily available during their candle-blowing moment.
2. Your present list needs to last you all year long.
For us December-ers, it really is too bad if your new favorite something happens to come out early on in the year. Like it or not, you'll have to wait many more months before getting it. And when you do finally end up receiving the new and nifty thing they’ve been dreaming about since mid-April? You'll quickly realize that it is an incredibly inappropriate item for winter.
3. “Birthday Parties” are simply poorly attended holiday get-togethers with your extended family.
For December babies, “birthday parties” are usually just holiday get-togethers with Uncle Dave and the rest of that oh-so-wonderful extended family. Usually, after all the wining, dining, hosting, mingling, and last-minute shopping for family members you only see once ever other year, you're too exhausted for a birthday party anyway.
Face it. Everybody — including you — is too tired and too busy to celebrate the way you would have truly wanted.
5. Most times, all your friends bail out on you at the last minute, and for no apparent reason.
What’s worse is that sometimes, even the closest of friends bail out on you. To be fair, snow-covered ski lifts, the smell of fresh pines trees, and the taste of warm, toasty marshmallows drenched in campfire-melted chocolate are all way more inviting than spending the latter days of the year with a bunch of your BFF’s yakking relatives.
6. Gift-opening time becomes a treasure hunt.
All the packages are wrapped in wacky Christmas paper, so finding that "Birthday" one takes some doing.
7. People forget about your special day.
I mean, it’s Christmas! Hence, there are never any brilliant surprise parties at the office; there were never ever any confetti sprinkles and homemade cupcakes to savor during second grade arithmetic class. This extremely special day of ours rarely gets mentioned or announced in public — at all. And who can forget those spectacular individuals who wish you a happy “Birthmas”?
8. You have mixed feelings toward Santa Claus.
On the one hand, the jolly old guy does bring you presents. On the other, he’s a total spotlight stealer. The bond between you and jolly old St. Nick has turned, over the years, into a tense, love-hate relationship that no one else seems to fully understand.
9. Yet despite all of this, you never ever ever dare to complain—you don’t want to be labeled a Grinch, you don’t want to steal away the holiday spirit.
We smile. We put on a brave face. We act like the bigger and better person we are and were taught to be.
Yet honestly, none of the above matters because deep down inside, you know that you are as special as the cherished holiday itself. That’s more than enough. So this year, keep calm, carry on, and have yourself a Happy Happy Holiday (and Birthday)!!