IMPORTANT WEEKEND QUESTION: Which of These Insane Jersey Shore T-Shirts Is Your Favorite?

I'm thinking about going back for the Sorry Mom hat.
Publish date:
July 4, 2015

I'm on vacation! Well, a mini-vacation -- I took advantage of the holiday to go stay in a trashy motel on the Jersey shore and kick it on the boardwalk, where one of my favorite pastimes is to check out the strange creations that populate the hundreds of T-shirt and souvenir shops that dot the shoreline.

A few years ago, I found one so crazy I wrote a whole article about it. Here's the one again, along with some compatriots from the popular "I'm going to kill you if you date my kids" subgenre.

I have a dad who literally used to answer the door with a rifle and ask guys what their intentions were (mostly just because he thought it was funny I think), so I can at least wrap my mind around these. But what the hell are the cryptic ones supposed to mean?

A new entry in weird boardwalk T-shirts this year, Games of Thrones themes!

Around this point, I turned my head for one second and all of a sudden my boyfriend was getting a custom shirt made with two dragons fighting on it.

Another common theme is Marilyn Monroe doing all sorts of things she never did in life. I guess she's no longer iconic enough without at least a couple of pistols.

Potty humor, of course:

And a couple I secretly sort of like:

Also, this wasn't a T-shirt, it was a sign for sale, but that confusing punctuation is to me undermining its 10 dollar price tag.

Are you into the boardwalk experience? Have you seen a weirder one than these? I left out a lot of super-sexist and drinking ones for sheer space.