Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
As the only member of the xoJane staff with an actual baby (7-month-old Julia), I was nominated to pull off this prank. I did think it would be interesting to see what (if anything) people would say to someone putting make-up on their infant. Read on for the reactions of a few brave ladies.
Lipstick Before Day Care
I set my baby on the counter and broke out the “Mauve Gold” as a mother entered the Day Care with her stroller.
Woman: Is that…baby lipstick?
Me: They make baby lipstick???
Woman: No, I mean, I don’t think so. Is that lipstick you are putting on her?
Me: Yeah, she usually chews it off by the end of the day but she doesn’t like the feel of gloss so this will have to do.
Woman: Do her lips get dry or something? Why are you putting lipstick on her? Have you checked with her doctor?
Me: Oh no, she’s fine. She just looks better when we accentuate her lips. I only use the blush sometimes.
Woman: [Look of disgust with a hint of evil eye] You should check with her doctor.
Mascara on the Pool Deck
I plopped myself down at the patio table with a baby and a tube of mascara. That blonde lady back there just couldn’t help but notice.
Woman: [Semi-chuckling] Hey wait, you’re not putting mascara on her are you?
Me: Yeah, I forgot to put waterproof on her this morning so she needs a little touch up.
Woman: [No longer chuckling}. You’re serious? I mean, that’s not good for her.
Me: Why not? She’s not eating it or anything.
Woman: Mascara has stuff in it that’s not good for babies’ eyes. Babies and adults have different eyes.
Me: I heard we’re born with the exact size eyeballs that we’re going to have when we’re adults.
Woman: [Pause] I mean, they’re just more sensitive. Like their skin and if you get it in her eye. You really shouldn’t do that.
Me: I’ll check with her doctor. [That seemed to make the last girl happy.]
Powder at the Clothing Store
I walked around a few clothing racks, occasionally “touching up” the baby with a powder brush until someone finally noticed.
Woman: GIRL you are NOT putting powder on that baby!
Me: Yeah, why?
Woman: She’s a baby! She has perfect skin! What are you doing???
Me: Well everyone tells me she looks like a porcelain doll, so I just try to keep her complexion as smooth and white as I can.
Woman: That baby is perfect. You’re going to ruin her skin by putting makeup on her this early.
Me: Do you think I should ask her doctor?
Woman: No, I think you shouldn’t do it.