Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
I’ve always found it odd that Andrew Zimmern can eat cow blood on a stick but cannot for the life of him choke down a walnut.
On a scale from one to completely innocuous, a walnut falls somewhere around “saltines with peanut butter.”
I cannot fathom being grossed out by walnuts.
There are some food aversions that I “get.” Even though I love tomatoes and cottage cheese, I can understand not liking either one. Tomatoes have weird jelly insides; cottage cheese has a pretty upsetting texture. I understand.
But other aversions I just don’t get.
Did you know that some people HATE cheesecake? I know TWO of them! It’s absurd! Have they tasted cheesecake? With a sour cream topping? Psh. Psh, I say.
But I know that there are people who simply can’t wrap their mind grapes around my hatred of celery. I don’t see how they don’t see it, frankly. Celery tastes like stringy acetone. It RUINS every tuna/chicken/egg salad it invades.
“But these salads need crunch!” I hear you protesting. Try an apple! Or jicama! BOOM problem solved.
God CELERY IS GROSS.
I also hate Jell-O, but I feel like everyone can understand that.
It moves when you chew it; it avoids your teeth.
I also won't eat catfood.
Obviously, Andrew Zimmern and I couldn’t be the only one with Bizarre Food hang-ups (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?), so I asked the lovely xoEditors for theirs.
NO BANANAS. EVER. NO DRY CEREAL WITH MILK. EVER.
THEY ARE LIKE TERRIBLE BEDSHEETS BETWEEN YOUR TEETH.
When asked to elaborate:
They make a noise when you chew them like BEDSHEETS feel when you bite fabric!
Olives. Will not eat. Never ever ever ever. ever.
Clams with bellies, which is a REVOLTING New England thing. Actually since my first unexpected clambelly experience many years ago I've stopped eating clams, except for clam chowder. And sometimes I can't even eat that.
Also, beets. In any form. SHUDDER.
And just LOOKING at bubble tea makes me want to throw up.
I'm with Lesley on bubble tea. What is that? What is stopping those weird space balls from shooting up your pastel straw into the back of your throat killing you?
ALSO. Mashed Potatoes. Ugh gross. EW.
And any type of salad where mayo is the dressing. Egg salad, chicken salad, tuna salad, potato salad. ew.
I feel like I have to comment on bubble tea: IT LOOKS LIKE THERE ARE FROG EGGS IN YOUR TEA. Why is no one upset by this?
Lesley forgot something:
OH OH I FORGOT TO SAY HARDBOILED EGGS. Like giant sulphurous eyeballs. Actually any eggs that aren't cooked hard in a frying pan.
UGH YESS I HATE HARD BOILED EGGS. EW I HATE HATE HATE. AND DEVILED EGGS ARE EVEN MORE OFFENSIVE.
Minced beef makes me want to puke. the texture. EUGH.
I also can't stand raw tomato or cucumbers in any form. They're so wet!
Don't even get me started on coriander
OH GOD and vinegar -- when I was a till bitch at the supermarket, I used to make people scan their bottles of vinegar themselves so I didn't have to touch them. And once at school my friend poured vinegar on my trousers (because schoolchildren are EVIL) and I literally ran out of there, ran home and cried for about an hour. I never wore the trousers again.
Not a big condiments fan in general, but mustard mustard god no mustard.
And then I was like “all mustard?”
And she was like: All fucking mustard. Nasty.
I HATE Chickpeas with a burning passion, they send me into like a gag inducing rage. But I LOVE me some hummus. I didn't know hummus was just ground up chickpeas until GRAD SCHOOL. I saw some chickpeas arranged artfully on a plate of hummus and went ape shit.
I realize the point is sort of moot now, but even when I ate eggs the thought of eating scrambled ones made me gag. And I eat basically everything.
Rice pudding or tapioca. Never, ever, ever, everever. Vomitous texture.
Olives, cottage cheese, cilantro. But of all those, I think I would physically throw up if someone tried to make me eat cottage cheese.
Okra. My mom fed it to us when we were younger and I still think of it as the fuzzy spit covered vegetable.
Once okra was brought up everyone had OPINIONS:
Was your first okra experience boiled? [Note: It was] Mine was boiled, and I hate okra. HAD IT BEEN FRIED, I think it would have been okay, instead of projectile vomit worthy.
Oh yeah, I can't do okra either, whether or not it's deep fried. Something about the slime factor. I have to choke it down
It's the slime factor, mixed with the gross little hairs in it/on it. Wtf are those little hairs?!
My grandparents grew it and I had to pick it and the little hairs are prickly. So I hated it based on that.
Fried okra is dope y'all bitches are crazy.
After our Okra Summit 2013, we moved on.
Oh, fried oysters.
I will eat pretty much anything, and ESPECIALLY if it's deep-fried, but I had a traumatizing experience so intense that just thinking about it is making me gag a little. FUCK FRIED OYSTERS, man, FUCK THEM RIGHT IN THE EAR.
I am pretty open, I always said I'd never do octopus or mussels but I have so ...
Oh, I will not eat Cinnabon or Cheetos/Cheese Puffs? I've never had the latter and never will. But that's basically it (I am a pescitarian but outside of that ... I'm good.)
i won't go near jello pudding or cottage cheese. hate the taste, but more than that, i hate the texture.
Also, cookie dough. HATE IT. it's what evil is made out of, to me.
For all the records: I do NOT understand not liking cookie dough or Cinnabon.
I can't. I refuse to.
What foods make you guys gag? Tell me all your culinary aversions!