Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
I have that unfortunate thing where everything I like/want is outside of my current budget. And I guess I’ve passed this on to my kid, because his Christmas list is ridiculous. Here are some of the highlights:
Man, seven-year-olds, right? You know what he plays with the most? He makes paper airplanes out of construction paper, and robot suits out of cardboard boxes. And now he wants hundreds of dollars of electronic gadgets.
For fun, I scoured the internet (read: I Googled “expensive toys”) and found lots of really expensive toys that I can only assume someone is buying, otherwise these manufacturers wouldn’t keep making them, right?
I’m tempted here to write something about the people who buy these toys being “uber-rich” because 1) I’ve never actually used “uber” to describe anything, and I want to see what that’s like, and 2) I’m pretty sure using “uber” goes against the xoJane editorial policy. I’m such a rule-follower that I like to buck authority about once a year just to keep things interesting. So there.
Here are some uber-expensive gifts for the uber-deserving kids in your life. I have to admit that some of these are actually pretty cool.
I thought the Super Star Destroyer, which Oliver wants, was expensive. But no.
2. Hey, you can buy this $899.99 toy Ferrari at Walmart, of all places:
3. If that’s not expensive enough, perhaps you remember this $25,000 mini Ferrari for children, from a couple of years ago?
4. Every kid needs a $9,750 modern playhouse, right?:
5. And a $1,680 ride-on giraffe:
7. Last-minute gift idea: seven-foot-tall Robby Robot for only $49,999.95!
8. $20,000 MegaBloks World of Warcraft figure is 10 feet tall and weighs 1,300 pounds! Perfect for the teenage gamer in your life:
9. Your favorite toddler will appreciate this $1,499 Rocking Horse:
10. And finally, don’t let your kid be the only one who doesn’t have his or her own $30,000 Superplexus:
It’s a game where you move the sphere in order to guide a marble through a complicated wooden track. According to the catalog listing: “In addition to the track, the ball must travel on a 1/16" diameter stainless steel wire pathway at eight points along the journey." Great! $30,000 of pure frustration.
At least Oliver didn't ask for any of these things, because it would be one disappointing Christmas for him. We are getting him an iPod Nano as his big gift, but, shhh, don't tell.
Somer is tweeting about her kid's ridiculous Christmas list: @somersherwood.