TRENDS ON TRIAL: TOO PLUMP FOR PLEATS?

Plus bonus trend: the new way to, er, tuck!

Aug 9, 2012 at 3:04pm | Leave a comment

When it comes to dressing while fat I often make a point of at least trying on the trends I’m not too sure about in the fitting room, even if I don’t end up buying into them. I’ve been obsessed with jumpsuits for a few years now after a successful fitting room trial, and I’ve tried and tested the pyjama trend waters after initially viewing it with much suspicion.


Brightly coloured tights are now my wardrobe staple after hesitantly moving away from black 70 denier opaques a while ago. Sometimes however, like a slightly batty best friend, fashion throws something into the mix that is so unexpected or ridiculous or both, that I just roll my eyes and wonder what these people are on.


One trend it’s taken me a while to fully embrace has been the thing to be seen in for summer 2012, and the perennial favourite of the over 70’s- the pleated skirt. Conjuring up images of Ann Widdecombe and 1980’s C&A, the pleated skirt has not featured strongly on my fashion radar as a must have. Not because I don’t like how they look- but because I am fat.


The elasticated waist and ankle skimming cover all length just reminds me of the number one fat girl fashion rule that I am on a world wide quest to shatter, “hide it all and make room for your ever expanding gut”. I’ve avoided this like the plague but pleats are taking over the world. Sunray pleats, knife pleats, box pleats, mushroom pleats- coming at me from all angles and price points. I feel as though I’ve been beaten into submission.

image

Individual elements= good, total ensemble= Darby & Joan. Try again.

I was successfully managing to side step all this pleating madness until a casual killing-time- after- work trip to Primark urged me to purge myself of pleated skirt prejudices and buy not one, but two ankle length skirts complete with elasticated waistbands for you know, my ever expanding gut. Two weeks later and I am loving my new wardrobe additions but have discovered that they’re not that simple to un- Widdify.

It’s no mean feat wearing pleats while fat and I’ve realised that these skirts need more respect than I was initially ready to give. I can’t treat them as I would jeans and just “throw them on” otherwise I end up looking like my mother.

image

Ah, better but definitely still a work in progress. More 2012 and not so much 1989. Or maybe I should just put my jeans back on? Verdict: Workable.

In out, in out and shake it all about

A couple of weeks ago I was flicking through a magazine and stopped on a page emblazoned with the heading, “A new way to tuck!” A new way to WHAT? Oh how this fashion lark doth entertain me. Only fashion could take a practical millennia old clothing manoeuvre and turn it into something de rigueur. Sometimes I do just wonder if the entire industry is keeling over laughing and pointing at us from their ivory avante garde towers, hysterical at how gullible we all are.

A new way to tuck in a shirt for goodness sake. What exactly was wrong with the old way of tucking in a shirt completely? Was it just too decisive? Is indecision the new black? Will this new black end with us having coats with one sleeve, or shoes with one high heel? Back to this tucking business- I’m not really one for tucking in tops in the first place and I don’t think many people of my size do- or is that an unfair generalisation? Why not start tucking in my shirt now as there is a new way to do it, which, to the tastemakers, is better than the old method?

image


So here I am half tucking in my shirt in the modern non- committal high fashion way, and looking thoroughly unimpressed. I think I’ll sit this one out. Verdict: Hell no.

So what new fashion ideas have you tried recently, and to what degree of success?