I Survived The Peter Pilotto For Target Collection

My most favorite part of modeling is getting to wear clothes I would never be able to afford.

Feb 10, 2014 at 9:00am | Leave a comment

I don’t own any Peter Pilotto clothing because I can't afford it, but I worked in their showroom last year and fell in love with every piece from the Resort 2013 collection. 

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Pilotto Resort 2013 collection

My most favorite part of modeling is getting to wear clothes I would never be able to afford. I’ve tried on hundreds of different items from designers, but nothing has ever fit me as well as this collection did. You know how you put something on and it feels magical? I felt like that in those clothes. I was ready to find a boyfriend just so I had someone to surprise me with a dress for my birthday.

What do you mean I’d probably have to give him a blowjob in return? Men don’t do that to be nice? Just kidding, I know most men are perpetually 21 years old and have no idea how to woo a woman without expecting something in return. (It’s been a rough week for Melissa’s love life.)

Unless I could find a dress on eBay for $100 or at Goodwill where it was accidentally donated, this girl wasn’t about to be stepping out in TriBeCa “casually” wearing a Pilotto dress to Starbucks, hoping any woman would notice and say, “I LOVE your dress!” I feel like I’ve accomplished something if I get compliments on my outfits from women.

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Can I borrow $1,800 for this dress?

My life changed when they announced the Peter Pilotto collection for Target. OK, it didn’t, but OH MY GOSH I WAS SO EXCITED! Dresses for $40, what?!?!?!? The collection looked way better than the Missoni or Rodarte, in my opinion. I mean, it’s still Target clothing, but I have a few decent pieces from Forever 21 that haven’t fallen apart yet, and those clothes might as well be sewn together with pieces of my cat’s hair or twisty ties.

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My favorite pieces from the Peter Pilotto for Target collection.

The collection launched on February 9. The options for buying were to stay up late and keep refreshing the Target and Net-a-Porter websites, or go to an actual Target. Now, I avoid anything having to do with sales or crowds, so my first instinct was to just stay home and hopefully buy what I wanted online.

I stayed home on a Saturday night refreshing the Target website every five minutes. FINALLY it was up around midnight but every time I clicked on an item it said “Sorry this item is not available.” NO! IT IS AVAILABLE, DAMMIT! My roommate made fun of me while I panicked and yelled at my computer.

Eventually the website started working and I put the skirt I wanted into my cart, then I just went ahead and put nine more things in there. I went for it. I only spent $280 on 10 things, though! It was SO worth it!

I didn’t buy any dresses because my waist is too small for how big my hips are, so finding anything that fits me properly is impossible. I decided to go to Target in the morning to see if I could try on the dresses before buying them. I would normally go to the West Hollywood store, but I couldn’t even imagine how many chicks were going to be camping out so they could sell pieces on eBay (I really hate people who do that, especially with concert tickets).

I decided on the downtown LA Target, which was closer to my house anyway. Who’s gonna go downtown Sunday morning? No one, right? I woke up Sunday at 7:30am to a text from Lizzy (my roommate/best friend) that said, “How are we supposed to get out of bed?”

I texted back, “Good question.”

We eventually got ourselves together and made it to Target at 8:15 am. We briskly walked over to the collection and there was surprisingly a lot of stuff left. I was pretty stoked, until I saw that every x-small item was gone, and only a few smalls were left. I saw a lady with five of the same style dress in her cart. I gave her an evil look and grabbed every small item I could find. Lizzy grabbed some random things and we got in line for the dressing rooms

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Yes, my hat says #realtalk.

I tried to be sneaky and see if anyone was putting x-smalls on the return rack. I found some pants and said, “A HA!” like a maniac. The woman running the dressing room asked a group of ladies in front of us if they needed a room. They ignored her and talked amongst themselves. She asked again, and a woman said rudely, “No, we’re waiting for a friend.”

Lizzy then blurted out, “Umm, it’s NO, THANK YOU.” Uh-oh! Shots fired! Did my best friend just instigate a fashionista fight at 8:30am on a Sunday?!? No, the women ignored us and we went into a dressing room. Boring.

I was pretty happy with what I bought the night before. I tried on some of the dresses and none of them fit. I usually wear a 2 and all that was left were 6s or 8s. They looked really cute though, and the quality seemed much better than I imagined. I ended up getting some pants and swimsuit bottoms that I forgot to buy online. 

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Yay! Nothing in my size!

I’m really happy with what I got online, and it was surprisingly painless. Hopefully everything arrives soon and my downstairs meth-smoking neighbors don’t steal the packages from my front door while they’re high and drinking Mountain Dew. Here’s what I ended up getting:

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Not bad for $350

I feel like this collection was far superior to any other designer Target collection. I have one Rodarte dress that I rarely wear, and I honestly didn’t like anything from the Missoni collection. I have one shirt from the Jason Wu collection. Did anyone else devote 12 hours of their life to this sale, or am I an insane person with way too much free time?

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