HELP! My Stepsons’ Mom Tells Them “Girls Are Stupid”

Should I have said more? Less? Am I overthinking it? What do other parents think?
Publish date:
January 11, 2013
parenting, sexism, girls, gender

Let me start this article by saying that my stepsons’ mom and I are friends. Not just nod-tightly-at-each-other friends -- we actually hang out, sans kids. Not when we first met; not by a long shot. But since my husband and I have been married for almost 10 years and his ex is happily married as well, over the years we’ve become friends.

However, this doesn’t mean I agree with everything she does. For instance, she's always let them watch violent movies. As in R-rated, violent movies. Like "Saw." When they were 10 years old. I KNOW.

But if you don’t know by now, let me give you this piece of advice: Never, ever, ever tell a mother how to raise her kids. I know this, so I keep my mouth shut. To her face, anyway. And I never say anything in front of the boys, either. (But let me assure you, they don’t watch that crap at MY house.)

But back to the whole “girls are stupid” thing. Since the boys are now teenagers (ugh), they come home full of stories about the opposite sex. The good thing about the boys -- and a testament to how they have been raised: they tell us everything. Like, stuff I would have never told my parents.

In fact, sometimes I have to put on the Mom Voice and remind them who they’re talking to. Not because they’re being disrespectful to me, but because they sometimes talk to me like I’m their bro or something. I don’t want to know the girl in Biology class has a cute butt. I really, really don’t.

Although I suppose it’s nice that their hormones are working right on schedule, I guess? Gross. You wait, parents-with-little-kids. Your day approacheth.

So, anyway, the older one (he’s a junior in high school) and I were having a chat about girls and whatnot and he casually mentioned, “Mom says all girls are stupid.” I was a little taken aback, but merely replied, “Well, boys are stupid, too, at that age. It’s not specific to one gender, trust me. *insert hearty chuckle*”

Outwardly I was calm, but inwardly I was like, “What the fuck?”

But she’s the type (and I said I didn’t always agree with her) that constantly says how glaaaad she is that she didn’t have girls. Which is really fucking insulting to an entire gender and what the hell does that even mean? My parents had two girls and they LIKED IT. I was a fucking delight.

OK, that’s a lie, but what teenager is? Kids are hard. Sooo much energy, you guys. They’re exhausting. And excuse me, but boys are just as nerve-racking as girls, just in a different way. Like, boys are more likely to commit violent crimes than girls, for starters.

What do girls have that’s so horrible? That they can get pregnant? Psh. I’d take that over them turning into a serial killer, which is still a mostly male profession, right? Kind of like firefighters. Women do it, but when you think of a firefighter, what gender do you see? A sexy, sexy man sliding down a pole.

And speaking of poles! Yeah girls can become strippers, but so what? At least it’s a job! Do you know how many lazy-ass men I know? Like, a LOT.

Mama’s boys? ALL BOYS.

I think (I hope) that what their mom was trying to convey is girls at that age are not mentally equipped to make rational decisions and was warning him not to get emotionally involved. I mean, seriously, think of every teenager you’ve ever seen/met/smelled. They’re all stupid, right? Stupid, Axe-wearing morons. And so was I. (Minus the Axe part. Debbie Gibson’s Electric Youth, thankyouverymuch)

Everyone is an idiot at that age; they can’t help it. It’s basic science. Your brain is still in development. It should be a requirement that all teenagers wear a sign that says, “DANGER: BRAIN POWER NOT FULLY UPLOADED. COME BACK LATER.”

In the meantime, I hope I did some damage control. I’ve been his stepmom since he was only seven, and we've always had a good rapport. So what do you guys think? Should I have said more? Less? Am I overthinking it? What do other parents think? Advice, please!