Ask Jane: How Do You Talk to a Friend About Her Miscarriage?

"I just found out a friend lost her baby @ 8 mos, and I've been wondering what to say or do."
Publish date:
May 26, 2011
miscarriage, advice, ask jane

-- From yesterday's post, "Why My Boobs Are Huge".

Here are some thoughts on how to handle this with your friend: Do visit her as often as possible, but not with your new baby unless she wants you to bring your baby with you. Let her tell you when she wants to spend time with your baby (I understand there may be childcare issues involved here, but this would be the ideal scenario). When you are with her, don't feel that you need to act somber -- she may want to laugh and act silly and it is healthy for her to know that it is okay to do all of those things. She is probably feeling some guilt (even though it is probably completely unfounded), so let her talk to you about that if she wants to and mainly, just listen. I hope that is helpful. I am sorry for her loss and so happy for the new life in your life! xo

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