Everyone said that the toddler years would be tough. That the “terrible twos” (I hate that phrase) would absolutely drive me up a wall. But I said, “Not my sweet sugarplum!”
I was so, so sad, but felt like I had no right to be. I had read so many stories about miscarriages in the second trimester, my grief didn't feel valid in comparison.
After I gave birth, the breasts remained, and as the rest of my body shrank, they became a more and more pronounced part of my physique. I felt, frankly, pornographic.
What you think losing a child would be like is nothing like how it actually is.

Apr 3, 2014 at 2:00pm | 326 comments

open thread
Since I became a mom, I’ve said a lot of stuff I never imagined I would say. This one was so stupid I will never live it down.
Modern moms seem to be on a kick to bring their child-rearing techniques back to the Dark Ages, and my technology-obsessed, processed-food-loving heart can’t deal with the sanctimoniousness.
"So here I find myself in the psych ward, on the fifth floor, which I’m continuously assured is for the 'least crazy' or 'most stable' of us."
teen pregnancy
I would defy the stereotypes; I would be more than an unplanned pregnancy.
you are the advice columnist
Should I ditch chemo mum because she ditched me as a toddler or should I do 'the right thing' and help her?
unpopular opinion
I’m surprised at how much my Special Snowflake attitudes have eased my transition into motherhood. Not only that: in the long term, I think they’ll make me a happier, more effective parent.
what the parenting books don't tell you
My son is not me -- he doesn’t like to read books, he is not shy around new people, and he is scared of absolutely nothing (including a bunk bed).
you are the advice columnist
I'm afraid that if I let her know, she'll get defensive and start a huge argument.
self confidence
I moved to San Diego, California today and I don’t feel like a triplet anymore.
getting pregnant with michelle tea
I stopped looking like I was pregnant and then it was time to try to get pregnant again.
the frisky
Today, I’m 25-years-old and my desire to become a mother is stronger than ever before. I feel like my body’s been screaming to get pregnant for years. Some might say hormones are messing with my head; they probably are.
friends with kids
Things between us have been weird these past few years since you had that adorable kid and I didn’t have an adorable kid.
my brown baby
unpopular opinion
Kids aren’t going to be traumatized by a stranger politely telling them not to do something that could potentially harm them, or is just a social norm.
cyber stalking
The other day I logged into LinkedIn to find that my father had endorsed me in not one, but five skills. He thinks I’m a great blogger, by the way.
the good men project
I realized that there is an equally important goal in being a feminist … the support of our boys, not only to see strong women, but also to be emotionally strong men.
fat shaming
I’m an only child and she’s divorced from my dad. I just need help getting through to her.
Despite the acting out, the child has begun the cognitive process of differentiating between right and wrong behaviors. I can work with that.
you are the advice columnist
I want to talk to him even though he seems hell-bent on shutting everyone out.