One of my favorite Midsummer activities is complaining out about how fast summer is going. I like doing this from inside a temperature-controlled chain restaurant, preferably an Old Country Buffet, wearing a cardigan and drinking a warm beverage of how-high-they-keep-the-AC-cranked-in-there.
But I really am sad that jort season is half over (according to J. Crew and their window full of rich tartans) and that all too soon, Pringles will once again have their monopoly on smoky barbecue flavor. Luckily, fall is a great season for movies and books and eating hot things, and this one is no exception. For now, cherish the gelato you love with love, and show it the way that you feel, but don't worry when it starts to get deciduous, because this fall is full of the cultural equivalents of a big heavy pasta that would be gross to eat in hot weather. Such as!
The Black Keys / Danger Mouse Album
This exists! It was just recorded in Nashville and it's dropping this fall. I expect this unexpected collab to be weird and great, like when when Bac-Os get in your pudding from plate overloading at Old Country Buffet.
You know what's better than two Armie Hammers? One Armie Hammer, when it's making out with Leonardo DiCaprio. This will happen in "J. Edgar," a Clint Eastwood biopic.
Torschlusspanik is one of those cool German words for the fear of not having accomplished enough for your age (and now you know). "Girls" and "Tiny Furniture" writer Lena Dunham is younger than the relish packets in my fridge, so, I'm impressed by her mastery of Torschulusspanik as a genre and as a person who makes me feel ...Torshclusspaniked. This show is coming to HBO and is allegedly very good, according to Mindy Kaling's Tweets. It also stars dreamy OG Torschlusspanik-er Chris Eigemann of "Kicking and Screaming."
Mindy Kaling's Book
Speaking of Mindy Kaling, Have you read the excerpt from "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?" Because I loved it so much that I actually pre-ordered it from Amazon. I haven't preordered anything since Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. For Nintento 64. At a Blockbuster. A Blockbusterrrrrrr!
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
Tobey Maguire is doing some of the V.O. work here. Memorize this fact. Amaze your friends!
"A Very Harold and Kumar 3-D Christmas"
That Show About Two Men Who Dress Up Like Women to Take Advantage of Affirmative Action
Cop a couple beta blockers from a wealthy old gentleman and let this one wash over you.
Chipotle Has Been Beta Testing Chorizo as a Topping
If you're not excited about this, I can't help you.
Lauryn Hill's Sixth Baby
What will she name it? Can you wait to find out? I can't.
Far down the line, but it's never to early to start getting pumped.