Commentary on the Commentary: The Sexist PMS Milk Campaign

New ad campaign encourages dudes to pump your crazy ass full of milk, pisses everybody off.

Jul 13, 2011 at 10:02am | Leave a comment

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If you thought that NOTHING could make you not want to eat a pint of ice cream (and then chase it with a glass of milk, followed by another glass of milk and another glass of milk, and so on) hold the phone: Milk's people are kind of a dicks!

The people behind GotMilk? (a collective of California dairy producers) have always been kind of racy, what with their weird, creamy mustache advertisements. But their new campaign is targeting, um, men who date women with PMS (I think?) and is pure, unpasteurized blog bait.

Here comes the logic: according to site, "Half the population of menstruating women" (nnnnnnot you, gymnasts) "admit to suffering from moderate to severe PMS each month" (“admit” -- the rest of you harpies are in denial, keep drinking Rice Dream/living a lie) but "...research has shown that a diet rich in high calcium foods, like milk, may cut the physical and emotional sympstoms of PMS in half."

The site also suggests telling women that they're being "passionate" instead of "irrational." Whoa! Who did the research here? Dr. Turtle-from-"Entourage"?

The site involves lots of PMS games (?) where men can give themselves puppy dog eyes and create "I'm Sorry" videos for things they didn't do. There's even a "Global PMS" threat level indicator based on -- wait for it -- the Department of Homeland Security's color-coded advisory system! Offensive, right? I mean, who uses flash on web sites anymore?

Before I decided to be time-of-monthy about these hip milk widgets, I figured I would check and see if they work. Like this one, that lets guys check and see if something they did to offend their crazy girlfriends was wrong or whether or not this was something that could have been prevented by filling them with milk, milk, milk.

Here's how the Mistake Verification System operates. First, you type what you did wrong.

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It doesn't matter. It can be anything.

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Then you click submit and wait a little bit while it"analyzes" your mistake.

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Doesn‘t matter! It can be about anything.

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Go nuts!

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Sometimes analyzing takes a while.

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Yup! Seems accurate.