Gary Janetti is the Funniest Guy on Twitter

Not that the rest of you who are trying to be funny aren't also hilarious; just that: He's funnier. Crap. This being nice stuff is hard!

If I could only follow on person on Twitter, it would be Gary Janetti.

Originally, I started this post with “If I could only choose one person with whom to survive the apocalypse, it would be Gary Janetti.” But then I thought Gary might read this (I’m an optimist) and be really pissed (also a pessimist) that I forced him to stay on a ruined Planet Earth with me as his only companion. Not to mention the implication of sex with a straight woman in order to keep mankind from going extinct. (Though I suspect Gary might agree with me that human extinction might not be the worst thing in the world…)*

Anyway, I really, really want Gary Janetti to like me (and therefore be happy when we’re the last two people on earth), so I’ll just stick with how he’s my absolute favorite on Twitter because no one makes me laugh like he does. I’m a Rob Delaney fan, sure, but dude doesn’t even come close to Gary. And no, that’s not an insult to Rob, especially since insults aren't something we're doing on "Say Something Nice on the Internet" Day. Rob Delaney's funny. It’s just that with his acerbic sarcasm and dry wit, Gary is even funnier. (Is it mean if it's true?)

Who IS Gary Janetti you ask? (Notice there is no judgment about the fact that you didn't know already.) He’s a producer and writer for TV shows like “Family Guy” and “Will & Grace” and, oh right, he’s Brad’s Goreski’s boyfriend on my (new) favorite show from Bravo: “It’s a Brad Brad World.” (He’s also Brad’s boyfriend in real life because that’s how reality TV works. Sometimes.)If you haven’t been watching “It’s a Brad Brad World” then I’m sorry to say you missed out on some spectacular television. (The season finale was on Monday.) And not just because Brad is endearing (and also clearly so much better without Rachel Zoe), but because Gary is a total scene-stealer. In case you missed it (thank God for hangovers and Bravo TV marathons!), these gems from Gary’s Twitter feed should be explanation enough.

Every time he Tweets, I just wish I could be that funny. Seriously, until Gary came around, my #1 wish was to have perfect vision (mine is -8.5, which basically means if I’d been born in Caveman times, I would have been eaten for dinner), but now that Gary is in my life, my #1 wish is to be as funny as he is. FUNNIER, even. Like that's possible. (Being nice is so much fun! Who knew?)

Anyway, I love Gary. And I thought I couldn’t love him any more, but then. Then. OMG I AM SO EXCITED JUST THINKING ABOUT IT THAT I HAVE TO USE ALL CAPS. Then he came up with the ultimate surprise for his 10th anniversary with Brad. The best surprise another human being has ever come up with. Literally, one of the happiest moments in my entire existence and I ONLY WATCHED IT ON TV. Honestly, there aren’t words. Just watch. (Or read the background story here if you REALLY want to cry. Which, duh! You do!)

When I was watching this on Monday night, I started crying. Not just because ohmygod, it's a Les Mis Flash Mob and I literally wake up every single morning hoping that maybe, just maybe, today will be the day everyone spontaneously bursts out into song on the bus, or at work, or the restaurant, or wherever (I'd go to jail, seriously, if it meant I could live my life as a musical). But because it was the kindest, most thoughtful thing I’ve ever seen. EVER. And because it takes a certain type of person to do this for someone he loves. AND THAT PERSON IS GARY. He’s clearly one of a kind. He’s clearly the best. And I clearly need to fall in love with a gay man. Because there’s no way a straight guy would ever do this for someone.**So, Gary Janetti. I'm dedicated my personal little sliver of "Say Something Nice on the Internet" Day to you. Because I have a feeling while we both find plenty to appreciate about people and their existence, it isn't something we like to talk about often. At least not, you know, out loud.***Thanks for being the funniest guy on Twitter. And for your Les Mis Annivesary Flash Mob. Which will now forever be the stick with which I measure all of the men I date.One Day More (as long as it doesn't involve always being quite this nice),Daisy* Not in a mean way, just in a sometimes humans aren't always the best... ugh. You get it. I hopethink am sure.** Straight guys are great! Just not "Organize a spontaneous musical in our backyard" great.*** Don't worry. This day only happens once every four years.