Courtney's Diary: Who Do You Turn To When You are in a Pickle?

This is the last thing I am going to say about this townhouse situation. My next already-written post is about all the major positive things going on in life right now.

Dec 22, 2011 at 10:00am | Leave a comment

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This is the last thing I am going to say about this. Then I am moving on.

I moved into this home only on the condition that I could paint it and when I leave, I'd restore it to exactly what it was. Steven Gambrel, the decorator who did this house before I moved in, taught me it’s the brand "Fine Paints of Europe" (not Farrel & Ball) satin, applied in 7 coats, NO ROLLER! Which is what I had done. It is the most astonishing, cool, peculiar shade of blue -- a color I utterly love (thanks to my BFFs at Curbed.com for recognizing this). Steven had zero issue with my paint job. In fact he was shocked the owner thought that this other green paint, which was almost black, would sell the house. In any case, if this is about selling the place, there has been precisely one seriously interested inquiry into buying the house.

Since I darkened the door she (the owner) has been vicious to me and my staff. I've no clue why. Steven is a great decorator. Arianna Huffington lived here for a few months.  I assumed I might purchase it (and I still might), if I liked the vibe. It's pretty spend-y, but there's a police precinct on this street which is great.  Having a landlady tell you your Prelle, $2,000-a-yard fabric used in Jean Patou’s Parisian apartment or your Majorelle, Ruhlman, Regency furniture is "destructive" is totally weird.  My taste is artful and femme, but it's excellent.  I'm 47, have bought and sold 14 houses (16 if you count Washington) and love doing them nicely and tripling the price; it's just never been a question, so this whole experience is weird as heck. 

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Plus --it feels like she's living in ‘06, anyone know what that is?  There's a little thing about it in Christopher Tennant’s hilariously apt "Filthy Rich Handbook." Hey, don’t look at me! I just read it and laughed. It's pretty accurate, but also pretty pre-recession -- like the house's guest room. The room kills me, but it's a guest room, so I didn't touch it.  

But the owner's using awful words like "eviction," “SMS," “destructive" -- words that NEVER have applied to my home-life or my houses; the one I sold Sir Paul McCartney? He wanted all my furniture!  This just hasn’t come up!  No one " destroyed" anything. She wants that dated (IMHO) green back up? She can have it.

 I'm a little wigged out by it. Who'd want that black jade green back rather than my wallpaper? Well if she does, it's no big deal.  It takes six days to un-do what I did. Wallpaper is cheap and makes you happy-- rental or not.   If your landlord is silly, she’ll call Page Six and besmirch you in matters of taste. Page Six will call you at 4:46 when their deadline is five o'clock and say they tried to reach you in the story.  

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Why she went commando -- don't ask. But who do you call in a pickle?  Well, obviously Jane. Who simply called photographer Peter Murdock and came over here with him the next morning. [For people who've said the house was staged to look like that or that Courtney doesn't actually walk around wearing Chanel, I wish you could've been there, because there was NO staging, just beautiful (by Peter) documenting and Courtney and I jumped into two shots with no styling, hair, makeup, nothing. This is just the way she dresses and lives. ]

This was before I knew that Page Six had gone a bit rogue (or that this landlady from Chicago had also). Maybe my friends are right and she wants Americans to think I'm sloppy (not!) and that I don’t live with taste and grace. It's the heartbeat of life! Taste and grace and a dash of whimsy. 

Whatever. She’s old. She probably thinks this will look cool and she’ll sell. Some people just like to pick on who they perceive as easy targets. Until this (movie) deal I'm doing goes down, I think I'll rent in SoHo. I haven't seen a turnkey house in The Village yet, and I pine for Milla (Jovovich)’s townhouse, but she's leased it for two more years. I'm going to buy a place, either this house or another-- things are just taking a little time with the lawyers.

Donna Lyon, the owner, came over the other day and, after informing me that "No one likes you, Courtney Love, NO ONE," which made me cry, she proceeded to knock over a photo (she's rather... unwieldy) of me with Dame Elizabeth Taylor and shatter the mirrored frame. 

There are rats in the kitchen.

Greed. It's kinda everywhere, but so is art! So is music. So is acting…

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Coming up: Projects I have in the works that I'm excited about. Plus: Andy Warhol, Sean Penn, Marianne Faithful, Tony Robbins and others.