The Coolest Glasses on Film (That Desperately Need Replicas)

The Janine "Ghostbusters" Melnitz and more that should be remade so I can buy them.

Aug 19, 2011 at 11:02am | Leave a comment

image

I am Not a Shopper, but I do have a sliiiiiiight problem with buying eye glasses. I have about thirty pairs, conservatively, that range in price from $3.99 to $I'm-Embarrassed-to-Say-How-Much.75 . I have an eBay alert set up for "vintage Paul Smith," I am a member of a Chinese designer knockoff club and I have my Mr. Magoovian prescription memorized. I have trouble seeing a film where somebody is wearing cool glasses without running off to Internet them. More often than not, they're vintage or otherwise out of circulation and I am left ocularly blueballed.

So when I saw Moscot's Theroux glasses -- which are based on the ones Justin "Theroux" Theroux wore in "Mullholland Drive," seen above -- it was like some kind of sick, Clive Barker-y wish fulfullment scenario. I wanted those glasses when I saw that movie. And now I can buy them! You know, after I sell plasma or stumble on to some pirate gold.

Hey, opticians and retailers? More reproductions! If I can buy The One Ring on Skymall, I should also be able to buy Patrick Dempsey's "Can't Buy Me Love" cokebottles. 

To get you started, here's a list of some sexy movie specs ripe for the replicating.

Penelope Ann Miller, "Adventures in Babysitting"
Yes, I know. But let us not forget that they are purple.

image

Rowdy Roddy Piper, "They Live"
I have come here to buy kick ass and buy replica sunglasses.  I am all out of kicking ass.

image

Melanie Griffith, "Working Girl"
Head for business, bod for sin, glasses for BOTH.

image

Rashida Jones, "Our Idiot Brother"
I really like these but I feel like maybe I just really want to have sex with Rashida Jones.

image

Jason Schwartzmann, "Rushmore"
I love [these glasses], Max. [They're] my Rushmore.

image

Annie Potts, The "Ghostbusters"es
Who you gonna call? LENS! CRAFTERS!

image

Corey Feldman, "Stand By Me."
So, I kind of have these and they kind of make them, but I want them in real glass, without the reflective glare stuff, so that they do that weird opaque thing when the light hits them. I would storm the beaches at Normandy for these, you sons of bitches.

image

Macauley Culkin, "My Girl."
I don't really want these. Because you know who needs them? THOMAS JOHN. HE CAN'T SEE WITHOUT THEM. HE NEEDS HIS GLASSESSSSSSSSSS.

image

Side Note/Addendum: Mae Whitman in "Parenthood"
Not a movie, but WHAT ARE THESE GLASSES? MAE WHITMAN! WHAT ARE YOUR GLASSES? I NEED THEM.

image

I invite you to submit your favorites, but I warn you that you are accessory to my borderline erotomania. If you can live with that, PLEASE DO.