xoFOOD: Make Your Own Bastardized Ramen Burger

I am prouder of this creation than I have ever been of any other thing I have ever created.

Aug 30, 2013 at 4:00pm | Leave a comment

You know those moments, when you are so awesome that the only choice is to make out with yourself, but you can’t because you’re only one person? I mean, you could make out with your hand like you did in middle school, but that feels hollow now.
 
I had one of those moments when I created my very own Ramen Burger.
 
I can only assume that the genius Keizo Shimamoto had one of those moments when he first had the idea. I envy his beautiful mind as his creativity. His Ramen Burger is also much more sophisticated than mine, but that’s to be expected. We all know I’m not sophisticated.
 
His is garnished with a secret shoyu sauce, arugula and green onion. Mine is garnished with two slices of cheddar cheese, a fried egg, and Sriracha. Keizo also uses fresh ramen noodles; I use the twenty cent beef flavored blocks that you can find at the finer grocery establishments.
 
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Furrowed brow. Just like father.

 
I had to Google around to figure this one out, because I wasn't sure how I was going to keep the noodles from doing their own noodle-y thing and worming all around the pan. Keizo called it a "secret" but it's really quite obvious once you know.
 
THE SECRET IS EGGS, NATURES AMAZING FOOD BINDER. Once I saw that YumSugar used eggs in their recipe, I was like "You freaking idiot; of course it's god damn eggs."
 
And then I was ashamed I had Googled it all.
 
Anyway, half of you already knew/suspected this was coming, so here it is.
 
Claire’s Bastardized Ramen Burger
 
Ingredients:
 
  • 2 packs of dried ramen noodles (I used beef-flavored)
  • 2 eggs
  • Butter for frying (OOH! Sesame oil would be fantastic too!)
  • Burger patty
  • 2 cheese slices
  • 1 egg (for topping)
 
Instructions:
 
1. Cook your ramen noodles, like you did in college or whatever. I put the noodles in cold water and heat them on high until they begin to boil, and by then they are usually done. DO NOT put the flavor packet in yet.
 
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2. Drain the noodles, but don’t let them fully dry. Transfer them to a bowl, and while they are still warm, sprinkle on the flavor packet. This ensures that your ramen “buns” are as flavor-blasted as possible. Let the noodles cool.
 
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FLAVOR BLAST YOUR LIFE.

 
3. Beat two eggs and completely coat your noodles with them. You might get a little grossed out by this, but carry on. You are on a path to a garden of mouth delights, and I would hate for squeamishness to lead you astray.
 
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This is wrong.

 
4.  This part is a little hard to explain. Get two bowls and split your ramen evenly between them.
 
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Split them up.

 
Take some plastic wrap and press it down so it is in full contact with the exposed noodles. Gently flip the noodles out into the plastic wrap and wrap it up quickly and tightly to preserve the bun shape.
 
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This is important.

 
Place the plastic-wrapped “bun” back in the bowl and put something heavy on it. I used a can of tomatoes and a can of organic chicken soup. Refrigerate these for at least 15 minutes, but the longer the better.
 
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You could use paper weights or hedgehogs or whatever.

 
5. Before you take your ramen out of the fridge, heat your butter over medium heat. Once it is melted, carefully unwrap your ramen and VERY CAREFULLY transfer to the pan. I gingerly sat mine on my Stormtrooper spatula and then slid it into the hot buttered pan with the grace and dexterity of an overly-confident ballerina.
 
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If it doesn't look like this, chill for another ten minutes.

 
6. Cook for about 4 minutes each side, or until they look like this.
 
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Crispy goodness.

 
If you are afraid it’s all going to fall apart when you flip, give it a little nudge and see if it slides easily around the pan.
 
7. When your “buns” are done set them on paper to drain and reach a reasonable temperature.
 
8. Cook a burger however you usually do that. I make Sean do it. If you’re in town, come on over and I’ll have him make you one. It’s no trouble; he likes doing it.
 
9. Fry your egg to the level of doneness you desire. I like them somewhere between over easy and over medium.
 
10. Layer everything thusly:
 
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ARE YOU FREAKING OUT YET?

 
Throw some Sriracha on that business.
 
The you just devour that sonofabish. 
 
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Hands included for scale.

 
Guys. You know I like food. You know like eating absurd, gimmicky, disgusting food. 
 
This is beyond that. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that this is legitimately delicious. The ramen patty is crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. The fried egg is reminiscent of the soft-boiled variety that would accompany a bowl of delicious katsu ramen. The cheeseburger is a cheeseburger, which is never bad.
 
I am prouder of this creation than I have ever been of any other thing I have ever created. 
 
Here's one more food porn picture for you.
 
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Hnnnggggg...

 
Out of all of the things I've ever told you to make, you need to make this one the most. Go forth my minions! Go forth and be delirious with tummy happiness! Then tell me all about it.
 
Tweet me your results @clairelizzie