A Christmas Wreath To Make You Forget Your Account is Overdrawn

Having something uber-shiny makes you feel like you’ve got it going on, like you are a somebody, and this year I needed that.
Publish date:
December 6, 2011
Christmas, decor, DIY, cheap

2011 has been a year of many changes. We sold our condo in Miami Beach, which ripped my heart out. It was the sobering reality that me and the main squeeze are not millionaires. Then, less than two weeks later, the beloved 1995 Chevy Lumina in my high school-colors burgundy, conked out.

Having a car in New York City is quite the coup. I always felt like a bit of a bad ass with the Lumina, even though my dad had to manage all the alternate side of the street parking (some bad ass).

So with my wings thoroughly clipped, no beachy escape and no rusted-out beater, I decided to do what a wise woman once told me, “fake it until you make it” and thus was born the “solid gold” wreath.

Having something uber shiny makes you feel like you’ve got it going on, like you are a somebody, and this year I needed that.

The inspiration for the wreath came from a garland that I saw at my local holiday craft superstore. It looked kind of like a pine branch and kind of like cash money.

I also saw this kind of funky garland that looked like mini corals of leaves dipped in gold dust.

Here’s a tip, when you see a holiday garland, you can always chop it up into its component parts. Often artificial flowers, berries, etc are attached to a “vine" for easy transport and are MEANT to be hacked apart, so that is just what I did to this garland.

I also found these crazy glittery flowers, that looked super old fashioned to me. And that's a good thing.

This glittery silver chain was just calling my name, so I got that too.

Are you tired of the word "glittery" yet? Fine I'll go with "shiny" or "sparkly," maybe.

I do have to represent -- since I am a correspondent for "The Chew" on ABC, I got some plastic fruit: a metallic pear, a pomegranate and a red apple

When I make things, I rarely have a master plan. I usually have a “play and see” attitude toward crafting. You start to make something and then just see where it takes you. I call it improv crafting.

So, here's the deal, ANY garland can become a wreath, no joke. All you need is some wire to hold it in a wreath-like shape.

Start by deciding how big you want your wreath. I made mine about 22” wide. Then start coiling your wreath into a circle. Use the wire to secure your circle shape about every 6 inches or so.

Once you have all the garland wrapped, then it’s time to start really blinging up the wreath. Cut the flowers down to the right size using a pair of pliers and start filling in the wreath. All you need for this is a glue gun.

Can you can tell mine is well worn? I once walked in to find my cat sitting right on it. Luckily it was turned off at the time, but still warm. Now it’s covered in her fur.

Keep filling it around until you have the ostentatious look you were going for. Then to add a little bit extra. This is where that glittery chain came in.

I measured how much chain I'd need to wrap around the length of my wreath, about 6 links. I cut the chain, secured it in the back with my trusty wire and then started to add my fruit. I first coated the apple with a spray primer, the painted it green (because I wanted a green one and there were only red ones) with Acrylic paint.

Then I gave it a quick transluscent coat of gold paint. And voila...

With my trusty glue gun, I glued all my fruit together to form a still-life-worthy cluster. And using some more wire I hung the cluster from the chain. And Boom! For just $46 big ones, I decorated like a rock star this holiday season.

Now to clean up the 20 lbs of glitter all over my apartment.