It's basically SAW: Beauty Edition.
If you follow "food news" with any regularity, you most likely caught a glimpse of the newest savory/sweet frankenfood. If you are friends with me on any of the various social media sites, you may have been one of the many people to alert me to its existence.
Quite a few friends emailed, Facebooked, and tweeted at me about the junk food sensation that was sweeping the nation, but Jim Gaffigan beat everyone to the punch with the following.
Thought this creation is very much my brand -- and it would seem that I have the same brand as Jim Gaffigan -- I cannot claim it as mine. This recipe comes to us from food blogger -- and perhaps my true soul mate? -- Amy Erickson, the genius behind OH, Bite It and these tasty little bites of fried heaven.
Now, I know a few of you were put off by my last meat-wrapped confection, and I'm sorry if I shocked and appalled you, but this is what I do. I can't call myself the "number one Oreo journalist of my generation" and not try bacon-wrapped Oreos. It's a matter of personal integrity.
If you don't like looking at pictures of disgustingly delicious food that probably shouldn't be eaten, don't read my stuff. (I don't mind people telling me I'm gross -- I am -- but if you expect me to start writing things like "Five Best Recipes for Ramps" you haven't been paying attention.)
To quote Amy Erickson, the junk food innovator and great Oreo-thinker of our time:
If you’re easily offended by looking at crazy calorie filled creations, this may not be the place for you.
But let’s be honest, if I posted a carrot..you wouldn't be reading this right now! Just enjoy and have fun, life’s too short to never stop and smell the sugar!
So smell the sugar we will. (Also cooking oil, you're going to smell a lot of cooking oil.) We're also going to take Amy's recipe one step further and coat the whole thing in dark chocolate, because someone has to.
Bacon Fried Oreos (adapted from OH, Bite it)
You will need:
- Oreos (I used Double Stuf or should I say "1.86 times the Stuf???")
- The thinnest bacon you can find
- Canola or vegetable oil
- Wooden toothpicks
- Dark chocolate
- Fancy salt (I used pink Himalayan.)
1. Heat your oil in a heavy-bottomed pot, skillet, dutch over, or whatever you use to fry stuff in. You want it to be very hot, around 375F.
2. While the oil is heating, start wrapping your Oreos. Take one piece of and wrap it around the cookie, covering as much surface area as you can. Secure the salty pork product with a toothpick.
3. Carefully lower your creation into the hot oil then get the eff out of there because this thing is going to splatter at first. After the splattering has stopped, flip it over and cook the other side.
Once both sides are crispy and constricted around America's Favorite Cookie, remove it from the oil and let cool on paper towels.
4. Eat one while it's still warm. Decide if you want to level up. If you indeed wish to fly even closer to the sun, melt some dark chocolate. Usually I'm all about stove-top tempering, but this time I took the microwave route, blasting some chopped 70% stuff twelve seconds at a time, until it was "mostly" melted, and then stirring until all the lumps were gone.
5. Dip each little crime against human decency into the melted chocolate, getting it all over your hands/face/brand new Belle & Sebastian t-shirt. Place them on wax paper to set and go change shirts.
6. After you have changed your shirt, but before the chocolate has set, sprinkle some fancy salt crystals on your little demon babies. This will give them an air of sophistication otherwise lacking in a deep-fried, bacon-wrapped Oreo.
These little babies are an experience, and an intense one at that. You've got fat, salt, and sugar all dialed up to 11. The "naked" original version are fantastic warm. The cookie wafer becomes soft and the filling gets gooey. Coating them in chocolate takes it to a different, slightly elevated place that is reminiscent of a Vosges chocolate bar (but with Oreos).
I made it through one without chocolate and half of one with chocolate before I called it quits. I didn't feel sick, but I felt satisfied; my entire spectrum of junk food cravings had been taken care of by this one little treat, and I spent the rest of the day eating heirloom tomatoes and lentils.
Unless you have a tiny vessel for frying tiny amounts of food, this recipe is best suited for a time when your house is filled with a bunch of people who are drunk and/or high. Just make sure the person doing the frying is sober; these things really splatter.