Having an organized and stylish place to keep your weed that you can leave out in plain sight is an option any adult deserves.
Think you've seen everything there is that could ever be printed on a t-shirt? You actually haven't, because there's still one final t-shirt frontier to be conquered -- your face.
Well, that's technically my face, but you can now have your very own face (or the face of anyone you love/hate) emblazoned on a t-shirt, tank top or sweatshirt using a dye sublimation process that produces a crystal clear, photo-realistic image from any picture you can manage to upload to your computer.
The clever souls behind this wonderful yet slightly repulsive idea are actually a Canadian company called Shelfies. They are based in Toronto, which explains why they are offering what they call the Rob Ford Crack Commandments "sweater" for sale. (It's really a sweatshirt.) Canadians: calling a sweatshirt a sweater for reasons unknown since god knows when.
The possibilities here are clearly endless. You could upload a photo of your own naked torso from neck to waist in order to go out "nude" in public, or submit a close-up of your own eyeball or the inside of your mouth as a sort of subversive selfie. I happen to have a handy photo of the inside of my mouth at the ready, because I got a filling and was trying to look at it. Why would I even consider using a mirror when my phone is so handy?
I'm pretty seriously considering getting a shirt with my dog Casey's face all over it, because he is just so darn handsome that I cannot even stand it.
Although I actually think I'm going to go for the tank top version:
If you aren't feeling your own face, (and who could blame you, this is the stuff of serial killers) Shelfies offers a range of other stomach-churningly realistic garments for your wearing pleasure. I'm partial to the foodstuffs, but they have a whole range of weird-ass stuff on their site.
But Shelfies isn't the only company getting in on the photographic clothing trend. You can also casually lounge around your own home in a super cozy pepperoni pizza or gummy-bear printed onesie from Beloved Shirts.com:
Alternatively, you could hit the town in a pair of their sugar cube or sprinkle-printed leggings:
If there's not a single person, pet or foodstuff in your life that you deem shirt-worthy, don't fret. You can always just order this t-shirt plastered with pics of everyone's favorite feminist boyfriend:
Let's just close this post by saying that I once saw Ryan Gosling singing Christmas carols to a bunch of kids in hospital beds. SWOON CITY.
* A very special thanks to the lovely @SomerSherwood for finding this crazy gem in the bowels of the Interwebz in the first place!
I'm on Twitter: @IveyAlison