What Do I Wear To: The Most Stressful Party Ever

In our first installment, a former Other Woman wants to know what to wear to a party featuring her ex and his wife.

Jun 15, 2011 at 5:02pm | Leave a comment

Do you have a weird situation coming up and no idea what to wear? Send your inquiries to laia@janepratt.com and she'll set you straight!

Hey, I want your advice. I want to know what to wear to a party I got invited to by the man I've been with for a year who has recently introduced me to his WIFE (WTF)? She will be there too. (I have left him since I found out he was married, duh, but the wounds are still raw.)



I know you're thinking "why the hell would you go to this party," but its kind of complicated via us having worked for the same magazine/the event being in honor of that, etc., so I've got to go.



Anyway, obvs I have to look hot as shit, but if I look too hot it will seem like I'm trying to, like, "show him what he's missing" or whatever? Also I'm not trying to make the wife jealz (her life must suck enough having him anyway)...I just want to make him feel like a jackass and hopefully pick someone else up while I'm there.


Suggestions?



The [Former] Other Woma

First of all, Y O W Z A. What an awful douchebag. Even though you have given me reasons for you to go to this party, it still seems totally bananas. I mean, the whole point of being an adult is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to! (Ok, and sometimes the whole point is doing stuff you don't want to do because you HAVE to, but I'm ignoring that one.)


I think you shouldn't try to look different from yourself, but rather the BEST version of yourself you can be. Immediately I thought you could wear a red dress or some other bold color that you really love. What you wear should be comfortable–because you feel good in it and also because you don't want to be uncomfortable. Maybe a favorite dress that really shows off your body or a blouse with bold details that you can wear with great fitting trousers or a pencil skirt.


Imagine that you are being photographed for your official portrait to be displayed somewhere for all eternity: what do you want people to think when they see it? It sounds a bit dramatic, but I think it'll help put you in the right frame of mind in a way. After all, you are not there because of him, you are there because you worked hard at something and are being celebrated, so don't forget this is your night as well!


If I were in your position I would probably wear my most favorite neon orange Jil Sander dress, it's short but baggy so there's no need to call the scantily-clad patrol and I always feel like a million bucks every time I wear it. I would definitely wear sky-high heels because they make me feel fancy and powerful, but if you aren't a heels-wearing kinda woman then I would definitely NOT have this be the time you try them out.


Good luck at your party. You are already stronger than so many people who would probably never show up to such an event in a million years. Use that strength to your advantage (you know, like the force, it is strong within you) and I'm sure you will dazzle everyone in attendance.



xo.