20 Fabulously Honest and Sincerely Useful Bathing Suit Reviews by Senior Citizens

Courtesy of the Lands' End Biddy Committee. (Jane Pratt, I got your biddies right here.)
Publish date:
July 25, 2011
honesty, wisdom, swimwear, grannies, seniors, tushes

While shopping for late-season clearance swimwear capable of hoisting my generous bosoms, I found in the Landsend.com customer reviews section a golden resource of candid musings from swimmin' women. The straightest shooters hailed from the 55-65 and 65+ age brackets. Included are 20 of my favorite examples of helping a sister out, years of experience style.

1. Include the panty part for goodness sake:

Age: Over 65 Gender: female

"I ordered a Large and it was way too small. I also didn't realize that it was just the TOP of the bathing suit and that the panty part had to be ordered separately."

2. I hear ya, Morticia:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"The top is comfortable and fits very well. I love the color - it is flattering for my pale coloring!"

3. Dermatologist shout-out. What’s a rashguard?:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"This top seems a bit longer than than my floral print one, but maybe it's me. I kept it and am delighted with it anyway. The rashguard (is my Derm Dr reading this?) fits great over these tops. I COULD NOT BE MORE PLEASED. I had no idea I could look this presentable in a swimsuit at my age. I can MOVE in these pieces. And my dermatologist will be thrilled that I ordered a rashguard - if only the long-sleeved was in stock in my size!"

4. Don’t smooze the obese, manufatcturers:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"The quality of this top is very good. The sizing is far different from Lands' End swim suits I have ordered in over the past 25 years. I have always ordered size 12, which provided a decent but loose fit. This time size 12 is more like a size 16! Seems like even the decent clothing manufatcturers are trying to smooze the obese by adjusting size measurements."

5. Her boyfriend loves it:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"I am 5'3" and weigh 130. I got a size 8 D Regular and it fits like a dream. It is the best top that I have ever bought. The colors are beautiful and so festive. I've received many, many compliments on this suit. My boyfriend loves it! It makes my day everytime I put it on."

6/7. The models:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"Not only did this suit feel comfortable, my niece told me I could be a model for Lands End wearing it."

Age: 55-65 Gender: male

"Bought as a birthday present for my wife. She loves it! Looks better on her than the model on your website (and she ain't bad)!"

8. Hon-es-ty, is such an awe-some word:

Age: Over 65 Gender: female

"I hoped the halter would minimize the bulge of my stomach. Instead, it was lumpy, ill-fitting and too loose. Just not the right fit for my body at all."

9. I want this lady to be my Skype Nana & take me to Cancun:

Age: Over 65 Gender: female

"The suit fits perfectly. Your online chat person was extremely helpful with the selection of the correct size. I am happy with the quality too. It is very comfortable and I received complements when I wore it in Cancun last week."

10. Your tankini stinks. Seriously, it smells:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"My only compliant is that the tankini top had a terrible odor, so bad that I didn't like trying it on. My daughter was at the house when I tried the swimsuit top on and she also committed on the strange odor. I had to wash the swim top immediately. Now that the top was been laundered I haven't notice the odor."

11. The halter IS HER TOP!!:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"The halter style IS MY TOP!! I wear an A cup, and my "girls" are set far apart, so the chest area is perfect for them. Anyone with little or no cleavage could probably go with this top."

12. What’s black and white, but too much brown all over?:

Age: Over 65 Gender: female

Bought this suit in black & white but there was too much brown in it also. Returned for pool blue pasley and I love it.

13. It’s the lady in charge of what “most women would benefit from”:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"There is no control panel. If you don't need tummy control, fine, although I think most women would benefit from it. Otherwise it would have been a perfect top"

14. Haiku, I like you:

Age: Over 65 Gender: female

"Fits well and matches the shorts

No fat hangs over"

15. Snap. Sing it:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"Love the suit, however the cross straps that hook in the back are difficult to manage -- it requires one to be a bit of a contortionist or to have someone to help you dress."

16. Best kind of detail. How crazy would it drive you to have that little bit of lining hanging over the top? TWICE:

Age: Over 65 Gender: female

"The lining of the suit shows up over the top of the suit. This is the second suit I received this way"

17. Not too skimpy, not too frumpy:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"After trying many suits I showed this one to my husband, who gave it two thumbs up. The material is just right, not too skimpy for my 60 yr old body, not too frumpy either. Finally!"

18. Flat tush:

Age: Over 65 Gender: female

"Since I happen to have a flat tush there was too much fullness in the back leg area. Looked like baggy drawers!"

19. You have to think of the grandkids:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"The fit is great and it looks great. I swim with my grandchildren and wanted something modest but stylish. This fulfilled all my requirements perfectly."

20. Waistline illusions and derriere dreams:

Age: 55-65 Gender: female

"I really liked this suit, it gave the illusion of having a waistline. I ordered it in a size 18 long, but for some reason there was a little too much fabric in the derriere. I would have preferred the "skirt to go all the way around the suit. Unfortunately I had to return it."

One suit in two colors ultimately arrived on my doorstep today. The results? Not too skimpy, not too frumpy, modest but stylish, perfect chest area for my "girls," tush is covered, doesn't stink, flattering to my pale skin, and my boyfriend loves it (don't tell my husband). I could be a model for Lands' End!