Really Effing Festive Headgear: 10 Oversized, Sparkly Ridiculous Choices

For some reason, I feel 100% naked without something on my head at all times.
Publish date:
December 4, 2012
shoppables, holidays, festive, Christmas, ridiculous

Love it or loathe it, holiday season is here! You probably won't be surprised to hear this, but I definitely err on the side of loving it. I am aching to put up my tree (I'm obsessively watching its FedEx path; should be here tomorrow, YAY!), to wear more sparkles, to fully embrace the holiday spirit.

I subscribe to the notion of celebrating every day, and this gets even bigger when December rolls around. There's something about all those twinkly fairy lights that ignites my inner magpie.

Some people wear bell earrings, or lots of red and green, or ugly knitted sweaters to celebrate this time of year. That's not really my style. Okay, I will admit, I did buy a hideous knitted cardigan covered in flamingos from Etsy and I LOVE it, but it's not very festive.

No, when December kicks into gear, I prefer to put something on my head: preferably oversized, sparkly, and/or ridiculous.

For some reason, I feel 100% naked without something on my head at all times. I don't particularly care what it is: a beanie, a pair of glitter bunny ears or a massively oversized bow will all do the trick. My point is that I just need something on there. Okay? NEED.

This need, which is a dull mumble all year long, gets turned the eff up in December. It becomes amplified, like a stadium of people cheering.

"HEADGEAR! HEADGEAR!" they roar.

Who would I be to ignore them?

This piece is totally an excuse for me to do some online window shopping. So without further ado, let's look at some things to put on our heads. HOORAY!

We're going to start with ears, because quite frankly, if you haven't worn ears in public, you don't know what you're missing. No, really.

Crown and Glory make excellent glitter bunny ears, and I should know, because I own two pairs (silver and pink, of course). They have a bit of wire or something in them so you can bend them at will -- bunny ears are very expressive, you know -- and they sit comfortably on the head. Honestly, so good.

I like to think of these as "starter ears" -- they're inexpensive, skinny enough to put in your handbag if you decide halfway through the day that you're not quite ready for them, and not too over-the-top.

Janine Basil's bunny ears are my favorite sparkly bunny ears though. They're very special and beautifully made. I wore them in the desert with a 1950s prom dress and it was pretty much a life highlight.

(Plus, how cute is that photo? THE DOG. THE DOG!)

Benoit Missolin does kinky leather bunny ears if you want to work ears into your fetish apparel. Because, well, why not?

It's always good to have a selection of hair clips around. They dress up a simple outfit with ease. Plus, SPARKLE! I love these almost-subtle vinyl star barrettes in a cacophony of colors.

Also, j'adore this glitter spider hair accessory. So cute and weird at the same time. Why is there a spider on your head? Does it matter? No! I suppose it's not really "holiday-themed," but it doesn't have to be, now, does it?

Now THIS is sparkly: glittery stars for everyone! Bonus points if you match it to your hair, of course.

Crown and Glory come to the rescue again with these fabulous glitter hair bows. Again, I own a couple of these, and they are ace.

Okay, hold your breath because this one isn't sparkly, but it's too cool not to mention. Get your prep on with a monogrammed chevron bow. Ooh, err!

I love TwinkieChan -- and her ice-cream scoop hair clips. Um, hello, adorable.

Speaking of food on the head, my pal Marie makes epic cake hats. You should probably buy one and wear it on New Year's Eve.

There are so many great options for silly headwear, and in my experience, Etsy is the best place to scope 'em out. You also get the added good deed bonus of supporting a small, independent business.

Of course, leather rabbit ears and a cake hat aren't your average day-to-day attire, and unless you work in a place with the most relaxed dress code ever -- like, um, the xoJane offices -- I wouldn't recommend wearing these to work. But remember, you have a life! Wear these when you go out and enjoy that life!

Yours in extremely sparkly solidarity,