FIND IT FRIDAY: Effortlessly Cool Androgynous Style for a "Borderline Femme-Queer Date"

Or, "how I dress every day."
Publish date:
March 30, 2012
cocktail bar, Femme queer, dates, Katherine Hepburn, tapas, Patricia Highsmith

Dear Julie,

I'm writing in hopes that you will work your magic on my wardrobe and therefore my love life. I am a 23 year old borderline-femme queer girl (yes to eyeliner, no to skirts) who needs something to wear on dates. If I could choose, I would look like Katharine Hepburn or young Patricia Highsmith. However, I am not rail-thin and don't look

good in baggy pants. Nor am I sophisticated enough to pull off a suit in real life. What might evoke that delicious feminine androgyny but look better on me?

Stay delightful,


"No to skirts," A girl after my own heart! As a D-lover, I'm aware that most guys


love a skirt (easy access) but leg freedom feels uncomfortable to me so I can't do it, even on dates. I need each thigh separated and encased in its own tube of fabric. That sounds like a reusable condom.

You know what I mean!

My favorite date looks err on the casual side, while still being uber-flattering

. For daytime, I like a mix of slouchy and structured. Think leather pants with a worn-in tee, or a blazer with distressed denim. Heels are a personal choice that depends on your stature, and that of who you're dating, and how much you care about their feelings. You do the math.

With that being said, I don't usually follow my own rules. Earlier this week I wore these Rag & Bone skinnies that are part black leather, part white denim and elicited all sorts of confusion from some dude. Whatever.

If I were you though, I'd wear a variation on the two looks below. I went a little aspirational price-wise, but I'm sure Zara has some replicas of the expensive stuff. Have a look.

Elizabeth and James Wool Blazer, $530


Topshop Jeans, $80


Steve Madden Booties, $99. Element Tank, $32.

This is you seeing a movie around 5pm on a Sunday and then going to some datey tapas place after.

J Brand Wax Skinny jeans, $194


Obesity and Speed Tank, $47


H&M Blazer


Alexander Wang Pumps, $485


Now here you are at a cocktail bar talking about how your cocktails taste.

What do you think of these looks? The night one isn't very Katherine Hepburn or young Patricia Highsmith, but still androgynous (minus the footwear).

Ugh, I want those shoes.

OK, I've done a

date Find It For You before

, but since talking about dating never gets old, I want to know what YOU wear on dates. What gets you



Tell me!

Follow Julie on Twitter @JR_Schott.