Having an organized and stylish place to keep your weed that you can leave out in plain sight is an option any adult deserves.
Mom jeans are the baggy, super high-waisted light wash denim jeans made famous by the Tina Fey/Amy Poehler SNL skit of the same name. Mom jeans are cut nice and roomy to accommodate generous hips whether you’re a mom or not, and taper down the leg. Mom jeans are commonly responsible for causing “teacher ass,” a condition in which the high waist creates the illusion of a flat, elongated ass, often belonging to a middle-school teacher. Mom jeans are the antithesis of skinny jeans.
Despite their bad rep, I actually like mom jeans and decided to give them a spin for all you xoJane readers who might not be of the same mindset. Full disclosure: This is not the first time I’ve worn mom jeans -– they’re actually kind of my thing. I own this particular pair of Levis, which I found at a thrift store almost two years ago and subsequently roughed up with sandpaper as well as a high-class, evening pair of mom jeans: a pair of dark wash stunners from American Apparel.
Perhaps it is a little denigrating to moms to have such an unflattering cut of denim named in their honor, but I believe it is totally possible to look like a MILF in mom jeans. In fact, I think I look pretty cute. My body type is thin but shapely, so I filled out the mom jeans comfortably; they made it clear that I have a curvy bottom, but didn’t make a big deal out of it the way some pants do. If skinny jeans could talk, they would say “DAMN GIRL YOU GOT A BOOTY.” Mom jeans simply whisper “Nice ass.”
Listen, I know some women refuse to wear pants out of both stylistic conviction and commitment to comfort, but I promise you, mom jeans are really, really, comfortable. That’s why they’re called mom jeans, right? Because moms have to cook meals and drive their kids around and don’t have the time to deal with bullshit too-tight pants! They are cut wide, which leaves lots of room for movement, such as painting the house or making a badass fondue or whatever other things people do in while wearing jeans.
I paired the mom jeans with a crappy old polka-dot tank top from H&M and my omnipresent Doc Martens (I have like, 5 pairs?). The mom jeans made me look like a cross between 90s Winona Ryder and an extra from a Smiths music video, which is pretty much the exact look I try to go for every day. I didn’t really notice anyone looking at me particularly strangely, but that may just be my highly developed people filter, which is a result of years of wearing crazy outfits mixed with general misanthropy.
All you have to do to make mom jeans work for you stylistically is pair them with the right items. Mom jeans accentuate the waist, so it is best to stick to tight shirts that are easily tuckable or crop tops a la Kelly Kapowski, which give the look more sex appeal than your run-of-the mill baggy t-shirt. Mom jeans also work with basically any type of shoe. The right heel can make your mom jeans vampy, while New Balance or Converse sneakers lend a casual air. Flat brogues will make you look like a model who just stepped off the Comme des Garcons runway, reeking of casual Japanese minimalism. If you’re feeling goth, a wicked pair of creepers will do. So basically, wear whatever the heck you want.