BOOB FORUM: What Are Your Feelings on Cleavage?

Much like Art Forum, Boob Forum is a place for us to have heady, intellectual discussions on a topic of great importance to humanity: our boobs.

Jan 5, 2012 at 2:00pm | Leave a comment

Yesterday, I wore a shirt that the xoJane assistants and interns (whom I think of collectively as "the kids" or "the girls") seemed to find a bit distracting.

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"I can't stop staring at your boobs!" Julie wailed at one point, leading Madeline and Olivia to agree.

I hadn't noticed any ogling, which just goes to show you that women are much better at covertly scoping cleavage than men are. Who do they think they are with that eye-darting thing they all do? We're not blind! We can tell that one second you're looking at our faces and the next second you're looking at our tits, even if you look back at our faces really quick. 

I mean, if I was a political candidate, my platform would pretty much just be that boobs are magnificent and we should all celebrate them, so I get how hard it is not to look. You should see me in the gym locker room.

And let's face it, we don't truss 'em up like a pair of prized pigs just for our health. Anyone who has spent any time in a woman's body knows better than to think a pair of near-visible tits is going to escape notice.

That's why, with the exception of yesterday's shirt, I generally keep the girls pretty under wraps. Yep, my attention-seeking has limits! And in a walking city like New York, going around with a wobbly boob shelf on display is an invitation for every single pair of eyes you encounter during your daily commute to lock in on your chest until you pass. It grows wearying.

That said, I loooove cleavage because it makes me think of that real trashy worn-out-high-heels leopard print Peg Bundy aesthetic I die for. What are your feelings on bared breast tops? Do you do cleavage, and if so how do you handle the ogling? Also how cute is the top I was wearing, seen on this sexy, buxom model?