All I want for Christmas are is... all of this stuff, thank you.
"Omigod! We have to call these in!" squealed Olivia earlier this week when she saw pictures of Crayola's new collection of crayon inspired nail polish.
"Nah, I'm good," I said.
Crayola is for kids!
I'm not always impervious to cute. Madeline's Hello Kitty nails make me smile. I just prefer beauty products for adults. Blame my mother who took me to see Quinten Massey's painting "A Grotesque Old Woman" at The National Gallery when I was a child. She's obsessed with Massey's portrayal of an older woman dressed innapropriately for her age.
"Does this make me look like "A Grotesque Old Woman?" my mother will ask when she's unsure of a pair of jeans or a lipstick or something. The painting has always been her reference point for anything that looks too young and she cites it relentlessly.
Crayola crayon nail polish is nostalgic and comforting like Girl Scout Cookie scented Lip Smackers. That's fine. But when given the choice, I choose sexy makeup that makes me feel expensive and mature even though my towels are all freebies from beauty events and I haven't bought new sheets since college. I've also been known to eat toddler food and use baby wipes. It doesn't make any sense.
Follow Julie on Twitter @JR_Schott.