It's gonna get sappy up in here.
Oh, my gosh, you guys. My life has been kind of a mess lately. Sorry for my absence, if any of you were worried. September was a disaster. I found out I'm "iron deficient" which basically means I'm a balding zombie, my regular ol' mental problems continued to plague me, and I lost a family member very suddenly and in a very awful way.
On top of that, I started up school again and have had a crap-load of assignments on my plate that I've been trying to deal with, with everything else in the mix. I felt like I was losing my mind for a while there. But I'm trying to get back on track, as I frequently try to do, and so here I am writing again for xoJane and hopefully this will get all regulated again and my life will sort its shit out. PLEASE, LIFE: GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER.
Anyway, ha, so remember that time I was tan for a while? That was short-lived, and for good reason. I love being pale! Especially when it's October, the spookiest month of the year! I get to be a creepy little ghost draped in black velvet with my nails dripping with blood-red polish and not even feel weird about it, because IT'S OCTOBER, DUDE.
It seems all my spookytendencies from years past are making their way to the forefront of my consciousness now and I'm just ridin' the wave and lettin' it flow. So what if I end up looking like a weirdo B-movie vampire from the 50s? That is kind of babe-a-licious, if you ask me.
So, now, I present to you my favorite products for getting completely vampire babe'd out. Or "glam-pired"? Ew, just kidding. That's almost as bad as "trampire!"
Shimmery, Blood Red Nails
Sure, you can paint your nails crimson red, but having them be glittery, shiny, gleaming little droplets of "blood" is much more fun. Start with a base of a pure deep red, like NARS' Nail Polish in Jungle Red ($21, sephora.com).
Next, add a layer (or three) of red sparkle polish, like Milani's Jewel FX Nail Lacquer in Red ($4.99, drugstores).
You can't be a sultry vampire without red lipstick; it's just not possible. I like Lush Cosmetics' Liquid Lipstick in Ambition ($22.95, lush.com), not only because the bottle kind of resembles some sort of creepy vial of blood, but because it's super moisturizing, longwearing, and the color is the perfect red.
If you're not using SPF on your face everyday, I don't even want to talk to you. Get your shit together! Do you want skin cancer, sun spots and wrinkles?! Fine then. Don't listen to me.
Or do, and use at least SPF 30 every single day to protect your skin and keep it in tiptop, eternally immortal, baby vamp condition.
I've been using COOLA's SPF 30 Cucumber Mineral Sunscreen Matte Finish ($36, coolasuncare.com) to keep me pale as ever, and the mattifying formula means I have the powdery complexion of a porcelain doll. De-lightful.
Now, tell me your favorite vampy beauty secrets. Do you sleep all day? Feast on the blood of unsuspecting men? Tell me all about it.
Twitter and stuff: @hannahejo