All I want for Christmas are is... all of this stuff, thank you.
This horny mermaid might look demure in her bottle, but she's most likely in for a most thorough boning. It's because it's Gwen Stefani's newest pretty young scent; she smells so friggin' good: like freesia and ocean breeze and jasmine and teen sexuality. HOT. Harajuku Lovers G Of The Sea, $30,www.sephora.com
Super-strong, extra-reparative (good for when someone pulls your hair out) coconut-scented conditioner that makes you want to bury your OWN head in your OWN hair. It doesn't make sense, but nothing does when you're smelling this incredible. Kiehl's Extra-Strengthening Conditioning Rinse with Coconut, $21, www.bergdorfgoodman.com
This silky body oil smells so crazy good -- like sunscreen and warm skin -- but the really wonderful thing is how is makes your whole body gleam and glow. SO F-ING SEXY. Sorry for cursing, Jane, but it is! Bobbi Brown Beach Body Oil, $30, www.qvc.com
This is a salt scrub that seems like a big coconut was just mashed into a tub to slough all the dead skin off your body and leave you looking glowy and smelling unbelievable. One of the best products EV-ER.Philosophy Coconut Frosting Salt Scrub, $25, www.philosophy.com
Ooh, a NEW coconut line I barely know about? Nothing turns me on quite so. I love this rich, gloppy texture: slap a big glob of it anywhere when you're naked outta the shower, then rub it until you climax as never before. JOKING! I rub it in until you're hydrated. Tree Hut Coconut Lime Shea Body Butter, $6, www.walmart.com
This has marine waters that surf-sexy texture and sea kelp to somehow (whatever -- it works) create sexy tousled waves. But the very best part? It smells RIDICULOUSLY good and tropical but not too sweet. LOVE. Frederic Fekkai Limited Edition Marine Summer Hair, $23, www.ulta.com
One all-natural bar of this oil-infused, naturally exfoliating coconut soap is all you need to get frothy with suds and start smelling like a delicious tropical milkshake. Plus it's made with volcanic clay, which sucks all your toxins out. HOT. Pure Life Coconut Soap, $3, www.vitacost.com