Quick Question: What's The Weirdest Thing You've Ever Read On A Beauty Product's Package?

And did you use it anyway?
Publish date:
May 3, 2013
Quick Question, natural, serums, organic, vegan, antioxidants, side effects, Aubrey

It's a darn good thing I've made a habit of reading every word on beauty packaging. I COULD HAVE DIED IF I USED THIS.

OK, I probably wouldn't have died. After all, it's natural and vegan, and both of those terms are synonymous with SUPER-SAFE. (That was sarcasm caps.)

I'm actually not entirely sure what would have happened, but this is what the box says:

I have extremely fair skin, so... yeah. I'll give this to a darker-skinned friend--I have a lot of those because I'm whatever the opposite of prejudiced is.

Anyway, I'm guessing from the context clues that it could potentially stain very fair skin and consequently make one of your friends ask, "Hey, what's with your new birthmark?" to which you would reply, "An adult can't have a 'new' birthmark. A birthmark is something you're born with," to which they would reply, "Maybe you were born again like a Protestant or Syreeta," to which you would reply "You can't get a birthmark from metaphorical rebirth. I can't believe we're even talking about this right now. Remind me why we're friends?"

So, clearly, what would have happened if I used this product is that I would have found out who my smart friends are.

If you don't have extremely fair skin, Aubrey Sea Buckthorn with Ester-C Rejuvenating Serum is a convenient way to get a dose of age-fighting vitamins. It's in rollerball form, and you just massage it in while I make you feel awkward by watching you jealously, you melanin-priveleged princess.

I'm sure there are other products that have wacky warnings on them--I just can't remember them. So that's why I'm asking today's Quick Question: What's the weirdest thing you've ever read on a beauty product's package?