OPEN THREAD: Unsolicited Beauty Advice Meets Mansplaining

And on a dating website to boot. Wake me up from this nightmare.
Publish date:
June 19, 2015
beauty marks, moles, open thread, Mansplaining

Hoooooooo boy. Y'all, I am still reeling from writing over on xoJane about the OkCupid jackanape who messaged me solely to recommend that I get my mole removed.

No, he wasn't a surly dermatologist trying to drum up some business, as Hannah suggested when I first mentioned it to friends on Facebook. Don't I wish! He was just a random, awful dude who thought it's totally cool to tell women to change their appearance to better suit his personal ideals. (Here's the thing, though: it's totally not cool. Just FYI, BTW, OK?)

An excerpt, if you haven't read it:

Yeah, no. I didn't ask.

As long as your derm says your mole is healthy, and you're happy with how it looks, keep it! Who cares if the occasional (rude) stranger thinks (out loud) that it's not an attractive physical feature?

We've talked about moles aplenty on xoVain over the last couple of years. I've listed my favorite famous moles; Rachel talked about how she used to hate her moles but now thinks they're cute; Calle gave a quick rundown of the ABCDEs of mole health; and Mari drew on asymmetrical beauty marks.

And I doubt we're done discussing them. Actually, I would love to have someone write about the experience of having a mole removed, either for health reasons or by choice—because that's OK, too. You're allowed to not like how your mole looks.

And you know what? That jerk is allowed to not like how my mole looks, too. But he's not allowed to try to make me feel insecure about it. Besides—he would, and did, fail miserably.

So, as I turn this open thread over to you, I ask...

  • Have you ever had a mole removed?
  • Has anyone ever unsolicitedly told you to change something about your appearance? How did you respond?
  • What other beauty thingies are on your mind this weekend?