I basically called my mom for help. Except when I say mom, I mean an esthetician.
Of all the beauty products I’ve loved and loathed, the way I feel about concealer has always been a solid “meh.” I’m not into covering up my under-eye bags and, in my humble opinion, a blemish covered by concealer just looks like a blemish covered by concealer. Zits are 3D, and there is very little I can do about that.
It’s helpful in life and love to develop a certain DGAF attitude towards the little things that go wrong, including zits. The right amount of appropriately directed apathy will get you far in life, kid. That said, it’s not like I love zits. They’re a bummer. While I’m not a concealer convert yet, I have some other ways of hiding my sebaceous flaws. Listen up, and I’ll tell you some wacky secrets.
Idea 1. Get Bangs.
Bangs are the easiest method for both covering unfortunate forehead activity as well as upping your quirk factor faster than you can say, “Zooey Deschanel in a Peter Pan collar dress.” With just a pair of sharp scissors and the dim light of your bathroom in the morning’s wee hours, you too can achieve a pimple curtain of your very own. (Side note: I can’t be held responsible for your rage when you suddenly remember how terrible bangs are to maintain and style. Sorry!)
Idea 2. Make A Molehill Out Of That Mountain.
A well-placed mole is a well-known fast track to sex appeal. I mean, Cindy Crawford probably had a zit once or twice but no one noticed or cared! Because mole! Just dot some dark brown or black waterproof eyeliner over that blemish, and bam! You’re the star of your own sexy soda commercial.
Idea 3. DIY Face Tattoo Time.
Before you commit to the full Mike Tyson, consider simply drawing a small shape like a star or a heart on your face with eyeliner. It’s fun and silly, sure, but YOLO and all that. No one will notice a dumb zit on your face when they’re busy wondering what musical festival fever dream you just rolled in from. Get ‘em, girl.
Idea 4. Go Nuts With The Lipstick.
As far as blemishes, if you can’t beat them, distract everyone around you. Now’s the time to give that wacky lip color you’ve been eyeing a try. Who gives a hoot about a silly pimple when you’ve got crazy-sexy-cool lips? I layered a bunch of purple lipsticks under some Dior gloss for a bold, shellacked color that screams, “Look at me! Don’t look anywhere else on my face!”
If all else fails, just stay home. You’ll save money while building your aura of mystery. It’s a win-win.
- Got any weird tips for covering zits?
- What’s your favorite famous face tattoo? I’m partial to Cry-Baby, of course.
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