My Kid Is Sick and I'm Exhausted But These Products Are Saving My Face

For fuck’s sake, child, go to sleep. Don’t you understand you’re ruining my face?
Publish date:
December 3, 2012

My kid's been ill the past few weeks with a cough/cold/ear infection, which means no sleep for me, and I’m an eight-hours-a-night kind of girl. Otherwise I not only feel shitty, I look shitty, too.

Sometimes, the kid summons me with a spine chilling "MUMMMMMYYYYY" up to eight times a night with a variety of requests. Including needing a wee/finding Tigger/covering her up/wiping her nose/taking away her pillow/tying her hair up/giving her some water/cuddles, she needs cuddles/find purple, where’s purple (he’s a monster toy).

I’ll give the kid credit, her demands are original. But by God, child, for fuck’s sake go to sleep. Don’t you understand you’re ruining my face?

I’m also not much of a drinker. I’ll have a tipple every once in a while, and when I do, I tend to go all out. But then it only takes me three drinks and I’m hammered.

For instance, a few months ago, I shamefully told my kid, "Mummy’s just spitting something out in the sink, look away!" while I vommed into it. I looked like Morticia Addams’ uglier, fatter, younger sister. But I still had to go to work, and look presentable.

Short of going out with a paper bag on my head, I at least have these products, which bring me back from the brink of ugliness and in some miracle cases, make me look fabulous, no matter how little sleep I’ve had, or how much I’ve chundered into the sink.

I should add, don’t try using all these products at once: Pick and choose your problems and fight the battles you can win. Same applies to kids.


Origins VitaZing £27, John Lewis

If there’s one thing you invest in, let it be this. This soothing moisturiser, which has that typical comforting Origins scent, sinks in and hydrates beautifully. I don’t know what wizardry is in this tube, but you know when you see pictures of Madonna pre and post Photoshop (Google it)? Well this is Photoshop in a tube. It just makes skin look warm, radiant, like it’s buzzing and luminous. It’s like a BB crème, but not a BB crème. Go test it out now. LOVE.

Smashbox Photo Finish Dark Spot Corrector Primer £28, Boots

Nothing, and I mean nothing can top the regular Smashbox Photo Finish Primer. I’ve previously professed my love for it, the sheer silkiness it imparts on your face is truly something to behold. But sometimes, I’ll change it up and use this one.

Now, as far as I know, I don’t have dark spots, so that’s not why I’m using it. I use it, particularly when I’m looking grey or super dull-skinned as it has a certain glimmer about it. It just puts a little sheen on my face and allows anything I place on top to set nicely.

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