Hey Everybody! Check Out My Half-Pastel Cotton Candy Fairy Hair

But WHO CARES? Because I’ve got cotton candy hair, bitches.

Apr 1, 2013 at 2:00pm | Leave a comment

EVERYONE, COME AND SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK! My hair looks like a friggin’ sunset and I feel so, so (xo)vain about it. 

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If you thought I had luscious mermaid hair before…

I got my hair done after I saw my one, true love, Janeane last weekend, in a concerted effort toward lifting my own spirits from out the abominable gutter of emotional and mental distress. DRAMATIZATION. 

So, I went back to my beloved, spritely, freshly tattooed hair stylist (and otherwise BAMF) friend. 

Sidebar: It was an epic, Homeric journey to get to hometown hair appointment. My stupid PT cruiser (don’t laugh) got towed from my very own parking lot because my apartment staff needed to exert some miniscule amount of authority on a Saturday morning when they discovered my car (which I have had REGISTERED with their office for almost a year now, by the way) didn’t have some frivolous sticker that I never received from them in the first place. HEAVE. HEAVE. HEAVE. 

Anyway, so a few hours later (and a lot of speeding later) I collapsed into the hair studio in a move that I endearingly refer to as: my perfected Reese Witherspoon at the nail salon in "Legally Blonde." You know, frazzled hair, tear-stained cheeks (did I mention my car broke down driving through a naval base and I had to get gas? Because that happened, too) and lots of frenzied excuses for being an hour late. 

LUCKILY, my hair stylist and friend, being the fuchsia-haired goddess that she is, decided that she’d happily see me the next day -- but, at a price. She wanted to try some concentrated tinting in my hair. Some concentrated, pinkish tinting. 

And since I had residual bluish green towards the ends of my hair, I decided that I didn’t want to have some weird, half blonde, half pixie pastel hair hue going. I figured, I might as well have pastel coloring all over, ya know? Which would really cement my mermaid/ fairy girl hybrid status. 

Sure, I was a little bit apprehensive to get this done, but then she said the following, which mirrored my sentiments exactly: “I don’t really care what color my hair is, just so long as it’s not boring.” And I was like, ME TOO. YOLO. CHEMICAL ME UP, LASSIE. 

And it turned out exactly like I dreamed it would. A dusted pink hue on top, morphing into a light blue ombre. Delicious dreamsicle babygirl. 

Not so delicious is trying to maintain the color. Luckily, I got some lovely tips and products to help maintain lasting color dilute vibrant hues to get that dreamy, angelic, “cherub chic” (my coinage, obviously) hair. 

I’ve kind of given up on Manic Panic even though their hair color shades are divine! For some reason, I don’t know if it has to do with it being “vegan” (which, how can hair dye be un-vegan? Can someone tell me? Do I even want to know?), the dye does not stick to my stubborn locks. It washes out almost immediately. And even if I don’t wash my hair, the color seems to dissipate on its own over time. 

Henceforth, I’ve become enamored of Beyond the Zone hair color. 

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The top half of my colorful head. 

For my pinkish color, I’ve been diluting Beyond the Zone’s “Party Time Pink” color in Ion’s “Color Brilliance” hair dye diluter, along with some white conditioner.

The hard part is blending the two colors enough during the application process so that the final product looks like a delicate ombre and not like a harsh dip dye. 

My only advice here is to dilute your dye to the EXACT hue you want, and work from the top down. Get your roots and top color done thoroughly, and then kind of haphazardly add the diluted second color. 

The last step you should do is add the undiluted dye to the ends of your hair, so that the color gets more intense as it goes down the length of your hair. I use Beyond the Zone's "Not So Shy" violet down the rest of my hair.

And the results are glorious.

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UMMMPHHHH, amirite?!

But, of course, after all this foolishness, you definitely need some deep-conditioning hair care. 

And since I have a penchant for cheap things that work (as does our dear Tynan) you all should give TRESemme’s Mud Masque a go. It’s five bucks and fabulous. 

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If you have extremely distressed, ravaged, Barbie-doll-dragged-through-the-mud-of-childhood kind of crispy hair, then spring for some, still affordable, Redken “Extreme Hair Builder Plus” for 20 dollars. 

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Honesty time, though, my FAVORITE treatment of the moment has to go to Moroccan Oil. 

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This stuff smells good enough to eat and it is sooo thick and creamy (gross, I apologize). Like, every once in a while, I come across a scent or texture that I know I'd get all "Freaky Eaters" over. This is one of those cases.

And it transfers to your hair! And it lasts for days! Perfection. 

So, there you have it my sweets! I hope you guys are amused by my cotton candy-hued locks. Or by the fact that I look like a menacing doll 24/7 now. 

What do YOU all think? Do you like the purple locks better or are you digging this mish-mash of pastel? Do I look crazy, or like a mermaid, or, pleasantly, like both?