It's gonna get sappy up in here.
None of these obsessions are really dangerous. I was just trying to make this article sound more exciting. FOR THE PAGEVIEWS!
SUPER-AWESOME CHEAP CAT EYE GLASSES FROM BONLOOK
Oh, hai. These are my new glasses. I will add them to my collection of glasses that I rarely wear because I am deeply insecure and need everybody to think I'm real sexy all the time. People like me can do this now because of the cheap Internet glasses revolution happening at places like Warby Parker and BonLook, where I got the La Marquise cat eye glasses I'm wearing above.
The deal at BonLook is this: You fill out a survey with basic info like hair and eye color, and then choose from adjectives like "daring," "edgy," "bohemian" and "sophisticated" to describe your style. The virtual stylist Sophie then makes a video recommendation for you. Watching mine, I got all excited, like reading one of those customized books with your name in it as a kid. I'M Emily! SHE'S TALKING TO ME!
The La Marquise, like all Bon Look frames, costs $99. It also comes in black. I took the above photo of myself wearing them in the bathroom of my therapist office, because the light was nice.
DOLL SHOE JEWELRY AND OTHER IMPULSE BUYS FROM FAB.COM
I like to shop on my phone using apps while my boyfriend puts the baby to bed, and since that's been taking a good hour lately (send help), it's become sort of a danger time for spending money on frivolous things.
It's sooooo easy to click "Buy" on a shopping app, especially when you're tired and the pizza is getting cold because you played the most dangerous parenting game and ordered the food before your child was fully asleep. (Most of them also have a helpful "cancel" button that you can use within a half hour or so of your impulse click.)
I mostly get in trouble with Gilt and Fab.com, the latter of which is dedicated to great design in art, furniture, homewares, gadgets, fashion, jewelry, and tons of other shit. It's super addictive and great for someone like me who doesn't have a lot of natural good taste, because everything awesome is gathered in one place -- and it's all discounted. Some of my most recent Fab.com purchases include:
Portion control Tupperware that ranges from a half cup to a full cup. (Wherever the Fab.com sale is over, as it is here, I've linked to other places to buy the product.)
WRITE Wall Art (now on the wall in our office), $52.
A 40-inch inflatable Brachiosaurus, $10. (Can you believe you can own such a thing so cheaply?!)
A cupcake scarf, $26.
This Big Discs candy print by Rockmade, $20.
Both these new pieces of office decor, which I think sum up our business model quite well:
And best of all, this fabulous Sara Gallo Doll Shoe necklace, marked down around 50%. If I'm being honest, I couldn't afford to buy this, but could I really afford NOT to buy it? You see my point.
Here are some more Doll Shoe options, which you can still buy at discount on Fab.com for another day and a half.
I love the cute little hanger the earrings come on! If you're reading this after the close of the Fab sale, you can buy for full price at Sara Gallo's website.
FAT HAIR AMPLIFYING MOUSSE FOR FAT HAIR
DUDES. This stuff is my new jam. I have pretty thin hair, although I hope you do not know it because I am constantly clipping in extra. And I've never really had any luck with thickening shampoos or products like that, but I recently tried the Fat Hair mousse on a whim and it seriously works. I know because afterward I posted this cute picture of me and my cat on Instagram and everyone was like OMG GURL YOUR HAIRZ! My amplified hair is better than a cat.
Also, if you're worried this product will make you fat, don't be. As the packaging helpfully points out, it has zero calories.
@msemilymccombs is waiting for her baby to go to sleep on Twitter.