Don't Apply Your Grandma's Makeup on a Bus, And Other Things You May or May Not Learn in This Week's Beauty News

Read this while letting a shitty robot wash your hair.
Publish date:
May 11, 2016
Hourglass, makeup artists, grandmothers, liquid lipstick, kylie jenner, robots, Kendall Jenner

I spent a good portion of the day producing a top-secret beauty video that you'll eventually see. All I'll say about it is, if this were the beauty news roundup on another website (are there other websites?), I would totally write about that video when it launches. Just sayin'.

But for now, you'll just have to read non-top-secret beauty news on this website.

This 80-year-old grandma's makeup looks better than pretty much everyone else's

You may recall that I had The Most Glamorous Grandmother Ever, but since she hasn't been with us for quite some time, it just wouldn't be fair for her to hold onto that title when there are other deserving grannies still kicking — and killing it — out there.

One awesome old lady named Livia is a top contender thanks to the talent of her makeup-artist granddaughter, Tea Flego, who has been sharing her "glam-ma" makeovers on Instagram.

In the last couple of weeks, the internet and media outlets have really taken notice of the grandma-granddaughter duo, not only because of the beautiful makeup, but because of the beautiful relationship between the two women.

My Grandma Bea would ❤️ that if she could.

Kylie Jenner sucks at using her own Lip Kits (OK, not really)

I am Jenner-ambivalent, but even I can't watch this Kendall Jenner Snapchat video — which was posted to Instagram by... someone? — without thinking, Aw, that's pretty cute. In it, Kylie attempts to apply one of her lip colors on Kendall while on a moving vehicle, because why not?

Don't try that at home, kids. Well, actually, do try that at home if your home doesn't drive down a highway.

One of your favorite makeup brands wants dudes' money, too

Carisa Janes, CEO of Hourglass Cosmetics, has apparently been making secret skincare products for guy friends for years. I almost got angry when I read that in the Hollywood Reporter. Like, share the love, CJ!

Well, now she is, at least to some degree.

"Hourglass is launching a men’s service called H x Hourglass on May 15," Pret-a-Reporter writes. "It’s to help 'demystify complexion options for men,' Janes explains."

Three questions. Why are these services just for guys? Why is this only happening at the Hourglass flagship in California? And how do I become friends with Carisa Janes?

Simone Giertz's latest shitty beauty robot has arrived!

I love Simone Giertz, the YouTuber that invents shitty robots — her words, not mine. OK, they are shitty robots, in that they do what they're supposed to very poorly. But their entertainment value is anything but shitty.

Perhaps you've seen her lipstick applying robot? (It's the video that that introduced me to her.)

Well, now she's back with a hair-washing robot, and it does not disappoint — in that it absolutely disappoints.

Three more questions. Why does she brush her teeth while her hair is being "washed"? Is this not basically a non-shitty hair-teasing robot? And how do I become friends with Simone Giertz?

Oh, hey, and here are some more questions:

  • Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
  • Do/did you have a glamorous grandma?
  • Would you not be so excited if Hourglass launched a full skincare collection?