OPEN THREAD: Let's Talk About Nail Salon Names

If you love puns, this is the Open Thread for you.
Publish date:
July 22, 2016
open thread, nail salons

One of my favorite dorky things to do when I'm on the subway or half-paying-attention to an old episode of Criminal Minds is to come up with names for businesses I will never have. For example, if I were in the flea and tick treatment business and had very poor judgment, I would call my brand BYE FLEA-CIA, because obviously.

I don't see myself becoming a business owner in this lifetime, but I can still appreciate other people's ridiculously named stores. And if there's one industry that never lets me down — and by "never," I mean frequently, but in a really charming sitcom-y "Not again!" shrug-and-cut-to-commercial kind of way — it's nail salons.

It's only in recent years that I've noticed nail salons with "cool" names, like tenoverten and Paintbox. For the most part, however, nail salons still have mostly generic names (like the street name followed by "Nails"), hyperfeminine cutesy names ("Think Pink!" *barfs*), or, as is the case with the place I've gone to a couple times since moving into my neighborhood earlier this year, goofy puns:

Yep, Finailly. GET IT?! Because I actually don't. I mean, I guess it's technically a pun, but they really just chose a seemingly arbitrary word that had n-a-l in it so they could insert an i and call it a day/business name. Other hypothetical names that use this formula and would have made just as much sense: Journailism, Penailize, Hormonail, Urinailysis — you see what I mean.

Also, Sable and I have discussed at length that we can't walk past it without CeCe Peniston's "Finally" popping into our head, but with the salon's pronunciation.

Sort of related: there was a salon in my last neighborhood called Polish, and even though I passed it a million times, I always pronounced it in my head as the nationality.

So for this week's Open Thread, let's talk about the best and worst nail salon names you've seen. Plus:

  • What's the name of your current nail salon (if you go to one)?
  • If you opened your own nail salon, what would you call it?
  • What else are you doing/pretend-naming this weekend?