If Neons And Pastels Mated, These Nail Polishes Would Be Their Babies

Maybelline's limited-edition Bleached Neons are the perfect spring-to-summer transition shades.
Publish date:
May 6, 2014
maybelline, nail polishes, pastels, neon

Remember that creepy pre-iPhone-app website morphthing.com? The one where you could combine your photo with a friend's or celebrity's to see what your baby would look like, a la Conan O'Brien's classic/horrifying "If They Mated" bit?

It still exists, thank goodness! Because haven't you always wanted to know what it (probably) would(n't) look like if Elvis Presley and Elizabeth Taylor made a baby?

And here's what it would look like if I gave birth to Hugh Laurie's child, a thing for which I have wished upon a star many times.

I've been reminiscing about this old website (isn't it weird that websites can be old?) ever since I received the latest batch of Maybelline Color Show Nail Lacquers. It's the limited-edition Bleached Neons collection, and they're truly the progeny of fluorescents and pastels.

If powdery pastels make you feel uncomfortably frou-frou, but neons that burn your retinas give you Gitano windbreaker flashbacks, these seven shades are the perfect median.

I went for Coral Heat, which reads sweet but bright (incidentally, the very adjectives I'd use to describe my imaginary child with Hugh Laurie).

DaMonica tried Citrus Collide.

Although we really like the colors, DaMonica and I both felt the the formula was a little tough to work with. It brushed on inconsistently, leaving a patchy, gloppy look, especially after the first coat. A second coat is definitely required to get anything close to an even finish.

That said, the shades really are perfect for RIGHT THIS SECOND. We're past the dusty Easter pastel phase, but we're not into full-blown summer glow-in-the-darkness. It makes perfect sense that these are available only for the month of May.

Think you'll get one? Which color appeals to you most? If you were forced wear ONLY neon or ONLY pastel, which would you pick?