Too Dreamy: Makeup Inspired By Twin Peaks' Audrey Horne

More than 20 years after springing a girl-crush, I finally take a shot at filling her tiny, adorable black-and-white brogues.

In seventh grade, I idolized two women: Helena Christensen in Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” video and Sherilyn Fenn as Audrey Horne in Twin Peaks. Both embodied a classic yet devastating ‘90s brand of beauty, and both were very sexy and mysterious in their own way.

I totally understood that they were sexy, and yet, I really had no earthly idea what "sexy" really meant. I grew up in a tight-lipped household, and by age almost-13, I still had not heard the “sex talk” from my folks.

I daydreamed about boys in my shop class (YES, I took shop!) whilst listening to “Vision of Love” (this was right before I was slapped in the face with grunge), but my fantasies never went beyond hand-holding and note-passing.

I remember watching a sex scene in a movie with friends at a sleepover and remarking, “I feel like I have to pee” to a bunch of blank stares. Like, I didn’t even understand that my body was having sexual responses.

That year, the popular girls took turns borrowing The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer from the head popular girl just to read THE SEXY PARTS. I was finally allowed to borrow it months later (I was, you know, outside the main hierarchy), and when I did, I admit, I really didn’t understand it, but I knew that there was something dirty happening in the town of Twin Peaks.

And even though Audrey was chaste and pure, I could tell when she danced that she had something that boys and girls alike can dig.

If you’ve ever tried to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your mouth, you’re doing an Audrey Horne. (Again, I tried to perfect that move not knowing what it implied.) She was a bit deceptive and meddling; a quirky girl detective with great eyebrows and a crush on Agent Cooper that matched my own.

In recreating Audrey’s look, I realize that basically I’m doing 1950s pinup through a 1990s lens. Her skin is cashmere-matte, her eye makeup is softly alluring, and the eyebrows. THE EYEBROWS.

As is my way, I am going to show you a loose translation of Audrey, as she had several different makeup looks, and she evolved as the series moved forward.

I applied Bobbi Brown Foundation Stick in Warm Beige to areas of redness and blended with a foundation brush. I used pressed powder to set.

The look is not as matte as Audrey’s original look, but again, I’m translating loosely. Also, I can’t justify buying matte foundation for one tutorial. I just can’t. (Please, though, share your picks for matte foundation in the comments.)

I applied a rose blush to the apples of my cheeks. This is a pretty clean look; not a lot of blush and no bronzer.

Audrey’s eyes are seductive, mostly due to her natural eye shape. However, a classically contoured eye adds to her appeal.

I used NYX’s Love in Florence Eyeshadow Palette in Ciao Bella. To begin, I covered my lid in the matte gray color.

Then I brushed the coral color at the outer corner of my lid and into the socket. I used a clean crease brush to blend.

I used NYX Gel Liner & Smudger in Charlotte to thinly line my eyes. This was my first time using a gel liner, and I was not wholly impressed. Annie just recently made a suggestion to not scrimp on gel eyeliner, and I must defer to the expert. I may have inadvertently purchased an old or dried out pot of the product, but I found it difficult to load my angle brush, and I felt like I was scrubbing my eyelashes out when I tried to apply it.

I added a drop of Mario Badescu Carnation Oil Eye Makeup Remover to the pot, and I was able to see better results.

I added a tiny wingy to the end, just for fun.

I finished with a healthy coat of Maybelline Full 'N Soft Mascara. Wiggle your brush at the base of your lashes before combing through.

I am not experienced in drawing in brows, so my homage to Audrey might not be as accurate as it can be. My brows are naturally somewhat arched, so I decided to just slightly accentuate them.

I begin by brushing up and trimming my brows. Then I used my usual Maybelline eyebrow pencil to sketch in a more dramatic shape. In this case, I followed my natural brow outline, but made the angle more defined and dramatic.

Now, I have recommended this pencil before because I like how I can quickly sketch it on and use it as a groomer. That’s all well and good, but I have discovered that it is NOT great for drawing thin, accurate lines. No one’s perfect.

I used NYX’s Eyebrow Cake Powder in Taupe/Ash to fill in the brow, and I brushed on the handy-dandy included brow gel to fix them in place and shine them up. Again, I am far from expert on this.

I already have a mole near my eyebrow, but it is red. Actually it looks like a drop of blood and I get asked constantly if I over-tweezed my eyebrow. The lady who threads my brows once said, “Oh, you have a red mole. This means you are getting a raise.” Haven’t seen a penny of that raise, yet.

Anyway, I was going to let my sad little red mole stand in for Audrey’s signature beauty mark, but then I realized I’m crazy. I used a brown eyeliner to add a little mark at the edge of my left brow.

I finish the look with Bobbi Brown Creamy Matte Lip Color in Warm Beige. It really is so velvety and wonderful. I’m wearing it every day, because obviously, I am stuck in the nineties.

Dress in your favorite pleated skirt, retro sweater and saddle shoes and you’re ready to go out for some coffee and cherry pie.

The fun thing about this look is that it’s pretty versatile and exceedingly classic. It also sort of reminds me that I’m not 18-years-old like our dear Audrey, but I’m going to ignore that one.

Which ‘90s icons to you adore? Who wants to grab coffee and talk about this show!?