Can We Try Harder With This Whole "Fall Beauty Trends" Thing?

If someone pushes another goddamn berry lipstick on me...

Don't get me wrong—I love fall. Fall rules for all the predictable reasons (sweaters, hot bevs, boots — BOOTS). But fall is also the most vehement about goading you towards changing your makeup look. It's like your well-meaning but super-nosy neighbor who keeps telling you how great her nephew is and how perfect you'd be together and why don't you just meet him, he's really tall...

I get it, Dolores, and I've seen your nephew. I'mma pass, but thanks for lookin' out.

But yeah, fall beauty trends pop up every year, but despite the ascending years the "trends" are overwhelmingly repetitive and utterly boring, if we're going to call it a trend.

Smoky black eyeliner and dark berry/wine-stained lips — this has been the fall makeup look for pretty much the entire first half of this decade. And I love a smudgy liner look and I love a vampy lip; I've got an annual membership to those.

Ladies, ya look great! But if we're going to push "fall beauty" as this momentous syllabus, we're going to have to come on already with the whole berry lips as scripture. All this berry lip hoopla is like that person in your office who is always organizing after-work outings that nobody wants to go to but enough people do go that you feel weird about not going. Some people just want to go home after working all day, OKAY?

So I propose what I like to call A Lil Something Different. Now A Lil Something Different is kind of a "in the spirit" thing rather than a set of rules. It's up for interpretation. But if you have no idea what I am talking about, here are some lewks to try if you will.

Metallic frosted lipstick is a polarizing look. Try it out, give it a go, why not! If you don't own frosted lipsticks, you can probably do the look with stuff you possibly already have. I did! I took a metallic lipstick and made it SUPER-FROSTED with the addition of frosted eyeshadow. Urban Decay Vice Lipstick in Conspiracy is the base with Urban Decay Eyeshadow in Sideline tapped in the center for an ombre sort of thing. Do whatever you want with the rest of your face — it doesn't matter! No one will be looking at it! The rest of your face, I mean...

And since we're on a foils kick here (okay, I am on a foils kick — just me) what is another appropriate place to make obnoxiously shiny? Your peepers, duh! (I would've also accepted cheekbones and browbone).

Before you get all That's it?? on me, yes, I know it's not exactly groundbreaking, winged liner in a not-black color. But the point here is not to blow fall beauty out of the water — it's just to shake things up a bit. So you get foil-y metallic liner. Hey, it's even a shifter shade for extra dimensionality.

Remember those Butter London jelly-like Eye Glosses? Well they make a great gel liner. This one is the shade Oil Slick, appropriately named. I just used an eyeliner brush with this stuff and voila, a chameleon eyeliner look. Oh yeah, and this pale peachy-pinky lipstick is another not-at-all-dramatically-named Urban Decay Vice Lipstick in Insanity.

Anyway, there are just some jump-off points. Like I huffed earlier, do what you want! Even if you just wanna wear some berry-colored lipstick and smudgy black eyeliner. I love runway beauty as much as the next beauty editor, but can we not pretend every fall is like a reinvention of the berry-colored wheel? When I think about the kind of fall beauty that was happening before my time (rather, the time when I was too young to wear makeup according to my mom), it was all frosted everything and heavy textures. Let's give that a revisit, okay?

How do you feel about FALL BEAUTY TRENDS?

How do you feel about the seasonal sanction of dark red lipstick? Or for that matter frosted lipstick trying to be a thing again?