Let's Get Weird: Mismatched Eyeshadow Because Making Decisions Is Hard

Today, we start on a journey of impractical makeup looks. Join me, won't you?
Publish date:
January 13, 2014
eyeliners, eyeshadows, maybelline, Benefit, mascaras, elf, weird

I haven’t created any actual content in a while. I’ve been
languishing and luxuriating in frothy, lavender-scented tubs of self-pity for
the better part of two months. But those days are dunzo as I open my arms and
another bottle of wine to welcome the new year and my new COLUMN!

Come right in and join me here in my own little corner of
xoVain. This is my castle on a cloud, and it’s about to get weird.

As some of you know, I have rage-y reactions to
corrective/prescriptive beauty narratives. This might be because I’m actually
flawless, but it’s probably got more to do with the fact that I already spent
20 or so years of my life thus far lodged tits-deep in a ball pit of self-loathing
and I don’t need to spend any more time focusing on what other people might
find wrong with me or how I can fix it.

Don't worry. I’m gonna ease y’all into this whole shebang with a post
that isn’t too loca for your soberific sensibilities.

I always liked the look of those disposable 3D glasses, with
one red eye and one blue eye. I wanted to create something similar, in that
each eye would be primarily one color. I opted out of red/blue though, because
red is such a distinct eye look I was concerned it would look like an infection
if it didn’t have a corresponding twin.

So I went with teal and purple as my colors du jour. I
wanted two colors that were similar in finish, opacity, and value so that one
eye wouldn’t overwhelm the other. I decided to go with Maybelline Color Tattoo
Pure Pigments. I’ve previously declared my love for these pigments, so I knew I
liked them. Also, I’m too broke right now to buy new eyeshadow!

So I grabbed “Never Fade Jade” and “Potent Purple” and a few
brushes and got to work, starting with the blue/green shade on my right eye.

I wet my shadow brush, tipped some of the loose powder into
the lid and then dipped my brush in. I worked the shadow slowly onto my entire
mobile lid, moving carefully so as to avoid scattering pretty, shimmery green
dust all over my cheeks. Let’s save that look for another edition of this

Then, I dried my brush and slowly applied more shadow above
the lid and blended it all out past my eyes as well as all the way up to my
brows. Remember, this look isn’t practical. C’mon.

Then I took a different brush, and repeated the same process
with the purple shadow on my other eye.

OK, cool.

Then I grabbed an angled brush and E.L.F. Studio
Cream Liner in black. I’m not here to say this is the best cream liner ever,
but I am here to say I’ve left it open all night multiple times and it still
hasn’t dried out. Plus, it’s like $3.

I dipped the brush into the liner gently,
and then dabbed most of it off on a tissue. I then drew a faint line across my
upper lash line, and swiped it out to form a cat eye following the natural
shape of my eye. I let the line slowly fade off rather than ending on a defined
point. I smudged a bit of the liner into my lower lash line as well.

Then, brush on some mascara. I’m using Benefit They’re Real
on just my top, outer lashes.

Oh, and I’m wearing one of those tinted lip balms Sable made
because she gave me one while I was in NYC. Thanks, Sable! It’s showing up
really pink on me because I was drinking some hot pink acai berry tea before

This look rules because if you’re eyeing some cutie out of
the side of your eye, they assume you’re just rocking a standard eye makeup look.
Then you turn to face him/her/them and they realize you’re no basic chicken!
You’re different! (Pull up to the scene with your ceiling missing.)

Because of the colors I chose, this look got me excited for
Mardi Gras. There’s so many ways you could take this idea and make it as subtle
or wild as you want. I thought about smoking out each eye, but I ended up going
for a starker, more graphic look that’s really all about these two colors and
the contrast between them. I like that it’s obvious they’re different, but they
coordinate well, rather than clash.

This is definitely a LOOK, though, so don’t be a baby.
Fortune favors the brave. What’s the point of anything that isn’t a
conversation starter? (I don’t actually know how to start conversations. I just
sit in a corner and wait for someone to ask me about my lipstick or fur.)

This is ideal for situations in which you can’t decide which
eyeshadow to wear, which team to root for via your makeup, or if you have two
different color eyes and each eye has a color they look best in.

Let your makeup reflect the intricate duality of man, or
your inability to commit to just one goddamn thing.

What do you think? Would you wear this look?

If you have any weird ideas for this column,
holler at me in the comments, on Twitter,
or on Instagram.